Michael Vick, Peyton Hillis, And Madden ‘12: Prepare For Culture War!

From the too good to be true department... Voting for the 2012 Madden Cover is in the final round, and against all odds (or completely predictably), the finalists are the Eagles’ Michael Vick and the Browns’ Peyton Hillis.

On one side, the most gifted black athlete of his generation and a convicted felon that became the most polarizing player the NFL’s ever seen. On the other, a blue collar white athlete making the most of minimal talent. ... Why no, there’s no symbolism there whatsoever!

Keep in mind... If Vick somehow wins this, PETA won’t have to protest for very long, because he’ll break his leg within the first three weeks of the season. Likewise, if Hillis graces the cover, he’s a mortal lock to rush for 450 yards, get benched by midseason, and come crashing back to earth like so many other one-hit running back wonders. The Madden Curse has a long and illustrious history with this stuff.

But you know what? This is about more than football. This is about VALUES, people. What do we want to teach our children? What better venue than an anonymous online polling station to decide? It’s battle for America’s soul, and Ground Zero is over at ESPN right this second. It’s just too bad they don’t have any message boards

So, without actual football to talk about, we’re left with this—will Peyton’s grassroots movement take us back to football’s founding values, or will the Vick radicals crash the (tea) party?

We’ll know when the ballots close on April 27th. Vote your conscience, America!