What Is Going On In The Background Image Of NFL.com?

The background of the schedule hub on NFL.com features some original art, and the only thing I enjoy more than art is logical deconstruction of art that was certainly not meant to be deconstructed. Here we have 32 players, each of them representing a different NFL team, engaging in some sort of battle royale. Some of them are actually going for the trophy, while others seem pretty content with punching one another in the face. You know, like in football.

The illustration in question is after the jump, as is a transcript of dialogue that I hope will help you to better understand it.

CHIEFS
Hey! A trophy!
JETS
Hey! Some grass!
PACKERS
Secret handshake!
STEELERS
Thumbs-up!
PACKERS
Oh. Thumbs-up.
STEELERS
Oh. Secret handshake.
PACKERS
Wait, secret handshake or thumbs-up?
STEELERS
I don’t know.
BRONCOS
The new Fleet Foxes album has leaked. Have you heard it?
CHIEFS
Go away.
RAIDERS
I am a helmet.
PATRIOTS
A Lombardi Trophy? Pfffft. Welcome to 2004, you guys. Swift boats and San Andreas, am I right?
COLTS
I guess... I... run at the trophy? I guess I’m just not clear on the concept.
JAGUARS
I AM A GIANT MAN
RAVENS
Hey, I think something’s going on over there.
CHARGERS
Yeah, you’re right. End hug.
DOLPHINS
You have a weird deformed hand.
TEXANS
I DO NOT [facemask]
TITANS
hey you guys what’s going on in this freelance illustration
FALCONS
I’m not sure which game I’m playing, but I am definitely trying really hard at it.
BEARS
oops only have one leg, totally gonna fall over in a sec
GIANTS
And don’t even get me started about airline food!
LIONS
Whoa, whoa, hold on a second, everybody. What is this? What sport are we playing? Are there rules, or do we just beat the s*** out of each other until one of us gets the trophy?
COWBOYS
These are good questions.
LIONS
Why are we fighting over the Lombardi Trophy anyway? The intrinsic value of the trophy is relatively low. It’s simply a token meant to signify a Super Bowl championship. You can’t be the Super Bowl champion just by having it in your possession.
BUCCANEERS
will you please stop talking so i can punch you in the face
VIKINGS
Pfft, this is stupid.
REDSKINS
Totally. I’m out of here.
49ERS
What’s up, guys, are they closed?
VIKINGS
Nah, but there’s a cover charge.
REDSKINS
Five bucks to see a cover band. F*** that.
49ERS
Yeah, that’s lame.
BILLS
I am in this illustration but it will take you like five minutes to find me.