Fumblr: A celebration of snow football

The NFL writers and the college football writers of SB Nation often clash over who cheers for the superior product. Or rather: the college football writers demean the NFL in order to feel better about their chosen (or inherited) brand. College football fans make excellent points about what the NCAA has to offer over the NFL: more innovation in coaching, fan bases rich with character, and a lack of Roger Goodell.

But college football shutters its season just as December arrives, depriving fans of the awesome beauty and chaotic touch that snow brings to the sport.

If snow can make Bills and Browns games watchable -- and it does, I swear -- just think how barely entertaining Big Ten games could be! MY GOD: imagine MAC football with snow. College football fans: do not pretend that you’re sated by a bowl game in Boise. Snow football is the best.

(Obvious descendant of the True Grit Bear Man)

Forgive my self-indulgence: I’m a Seahawks fan. Historically, our few moments of joy have been short-lived, and the franchise’s minimal success lends to its limited appeal outside the Pacific Northwest. As such, my fears generally outweigh my confidence. I expect the worst against the Bills in Toronto, a late-season collapse, playoff embarrassment, a disastrous regression for Russell Wilson, et cetera -- but for now, let me enjoy the 58-0 shellacking of the Cardinals for one more day.

Just look at all that sorrow and frustration. Being a Seahawks fan is bad, but man oh man being a Cardinals fan is even WORSE! I think that’s worst thing I’ve ever heard. How marvelous.

(For more on Arizona’s woes, check out this week’s Uffsides podcast with Will Leitch, founder of Deadspin and the web’s most notable Cardinals fan.)

via gif.mocksession.com

Cam Newton’s 72-yard touchdown run made all the highlight reels, but I prefer this escape that led to a 14-yard scramble on 3rd-and-11. Also available in video form with narration by Gus Johnson. Oh, Gus: call every sporting event, please. Baseball needs you.

When people make analogies on Twitter, I think of them as wishes they didn’t know they were making.

Pull on that thread of a thought, and things start to unravel.

This is how cynical I am: I’m not impressed by Jason Avant’s one-handed circus catch. It is certainly a skillful catch; I could never hope to do something so athletically coordinated as this. But for me, the marvel of this play is the awful throw by Nick Foles that makes Avant’s catch possible. The GIF doesn’t capture Foles’s awkward release, but the video here captures it nicely. It’s like a duck thrown by a hybrid of Philip Rivers and Tim Tebow.

In case the SB★NATION watermarks on most of the GIFs featured in this column didn’t clue you in, SB Nation has an entire twitter feed that exists solely for sports GIFs. Follow it OR LIVE FOREVER IN THE SHAMEFUL DARKNESS OF WEB 1.0.

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