The Milwaukee Planets have sat at fifth place in the NFC North for years now. Their elite offensive weapons, such as Larry Johnson, Fred Smoot, and Ted Ginn, are being squandered thanks to a lack of leadership at quarterback.
The Milwaukee Planets Prepare To Lure Peyton Manning
As such, the Planets are sparing no effort to acquire the NFL's newest free agent, Peyton Manning. After the jump, the team frantically works to outline its approach.
**Online Host** | |
| IsThisYourHomeworkLarry: /hyperventilates |
| TedGinnBackSunday: /hops up and down on alternate tiptoes, does nervous jazz hands ohmygodohmygodohmygod |
| IsThisYourHomeworkLarry: okay okay okay listen, we can't act nervous. We're fine. We're going to have this all planned out. He's going to have a great time. |
| SouljaBoyDelhomme: You did? We have all the food set out? |
 | IsThisYourHomeworkLarry: Yep. Peyton Manning loves plastic vegetable trays, so we have one of those. |
 | TedGinnBackSunday: wait. WAIT. this vegetable tray has ranch dressing in the provided condiment reservoir. Peyton HATES condiments. |
| IsThisYourHomeworkLarry: Unless it's vinegar. |
| TedGinnBackSunday: vinegar isn't a condiment |
| IsThisYourHomeworkLarry: And it has to be name-brand vinegar. He says remembering the vinegar commercials while he's eating makes the vinegar taste better. |
| TedGinnBackSunday: there aren't any vinegar commercials |
| IsThisYourHomeworkLarry: THERE ARE IN HIS MIND |
 | SouljaBoyDelhomme: WHO IS THIS MAN, WHO ARE WE DEALING WITH |
| TedGinnBackSunday: OH GOD WE ARE TOTALLY BONED |
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SouljaBoyDelhomme: /bugs eyes, repeatedly smacks face with base of fist |
**OnlineHost** Head coach Dom Capers has entered the chat room. | |
 | DomAndCaper: hey kiddos i went ahead an wordshopped some banners together, figured we might could hang up some banners for what when peyting mannin' gets here |
| IsThisYourHomeworkLarry: Good, good. I was thinking something like "Welcome to Milwaukee, Peyton Manning" would suffice. |
| DomAndCaper: well i can show ya what i got |
| DomAndCaper:
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IsThisYourHomeworkLarry: i uh you know what, i think we're fine without the banners, we're going to be giving out party favors and noisemakers anyway, i'm sure those will suffice |
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DomAndCaper: hold yr dingdong horses! i got more!
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SouljaBoyDelhomme: OK see that is a threat of violence, that probably won't play well |
| DomAndCaper:
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| SouljaBoyDelhomme: OK backup plan, let's wait for Peyton Manning to get here and then beat him up and steal all his shit |
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IsThisYourHomeworkLarry: i bet he doesn't even carry money on his person though just, like, a calculator watch and some loose raisins |
Milwaukee Planets is a spinoff of The Dugout, a baseball-oriented series of cussy chat room conversations created in 2004 by Jon Bois, Brandon Stroud, and Nick Dallamora. You can read the latest installments of The Dugout at With Leather.
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