When we last checked in with the Milwaukee Planets, the team was preparing to woo Peyton Manning. A quarterback of Manning's caliber is capable of turning any team around, and with him behind center, the Planets have designs on finishing higher than fifth place in the NFC North.
Peyton Manning Visits The Milwaukee Planets
Well, Manning has sent the rumor mill into overdrive by visiting the Planets’ locker room. The transcript of his visit is after the jump.
**Online Host** | |
| IsThisYourHomeworkLarry: sigh welp, i guess Manning isn't coming |
| SouljaBoyDelhomme: yeah guess i'll go practice my coffin-corner punts |
| SenecacheNewYork: Guess i'll join you, I was going to work on my coffin-corner passes |
|
IsThisYourHomeworkLarry: well damn, y'all, i was gonna go practice my coffin sweep lefts
|
 | SenecacheNewYork: I would say you could just use the other side of the field, but we leased out our other side of our practice field to a tuberculosis ward and a morgue |
| SenecacheNewYork: did you want to make a joke about that, or |
 | IsThisYourHomeworkLarry: oh, uh ... |
| IsThisYourHomeworkLarry: um coffin corner? more like COUGHIN' CORONERokay i'm gonna just go walk around in the mall for a long while and end up just buying a shirt at Sears in the hardware department sigghhhhhhh |
| **OnlineHost** Hours later ... | |
| **OnlineHost** It is three in the morning. The locker room is empty. **OnlineHost** Peyton Manning has entered the chat room. | |
 | RodFlanders: /jimmies locker room door /pulls on locker room door |
| RodFlanders: /forces door open with crowbar /stumbles in, closes broken door behind him |
| |
RodFlanders: /forces door open with crowbar /closes broken door behind him
|
|
RodFlanders: /jimmies doorknob from inside of door he has already entered
|
| RodFlanders: dornob! |
| RodFlanders: /dances jig while continuing to turn doorknob |
| RodFlanders: ♪ dornob dornob dornob dornob dornob dornob dornob dornob ♪ dornob dornob dornob dornob ♪ dornob dornob dornob dornob dornob dornob dornob dornob dornob dornob ♪ dornob dornob ♪ |
| RodFlanders: ♪ dornob dornob dor--- /cranes neck, sniffs |
|
RodFlanders: yogurt /bugs eyes YOGURT
|
|
RodFlanders: /stumbles around locker room, sniffing yogurt /finds large unmarked pallet of boxes
|
**OnlineHost** Peyton Manning has found Dom Capers' personal stock of yogurt. | |
|
RodFlanders: /crudely rips open boxes yogurt /tears open containers, smashes yogurt into mouth
|
|
RodFlanders: unnnnnghgghhthh yogurt
|
|
RodFlanders: yoghurt
|
|
RodFlanders: YÖGHURT |
|
RodFlanders: /madly devours yogurt by the case UMNMMGNNNGNH |
|
RodFlanders: JOGHURT /entire face and torso is now smeared with yogurt |
|
RodFlanders: JÖGHURT |
| **OnlineHost** The next day ... **OnlineHost** Welcome to ESPN Chat! | |
 |
TopSchef: Peyton, thank you for joining us. Reports indicate that you met with the Milwaukee Planets Friday night. Now, prior to this, nobody was giving the Planets a serious chance of landing you until now. |
|
RodFlanders: bluppp-- |
|
TopSchef: Milwaukee fans are still infatuated with Mark Vlasic, who started at quarterback from 1991 until 2009 and let the Planets to seven third-place finishes in the NFC North. That shadow would cast over you, were you to join the Planets. Are you prepared to handle that sort of scrutiny?
|
|
RodFlanders: BLUAURUGHGUHUGHH /vomits three gallons of yogurt
|
|
RodFlanders: aaaaaaaaAAABLURUGUGH /vomits six gallons of yöghurt
|
Milwaukee Planets is a spinoff of The Dugout, a baseball-oriented series of cussy chat room conversations created in 2004 by Jon Bois, Brandon Stroud, and Nick Dallamora. You can read the latest installments of The Dugout at With Leather.
See More:
