What Wes Welker’s statement really says

Wes Welker did something really impressive on Tuesday night: He issued a statement on his suspension that found a way to be definitive while retaining an air of being completely perplexed -- all the while saying nothing at all.

There isn’t a hint of anything related to the suspension at hand, nor a reasonable explanation of what might have happened. By all accounts he was caught for having amphetamines in his system and got his hand slapped. Welker wasn’t the first, nor will he be the last, to get caught taking performance-enhancing drugs, but by the words of his email to the Denver Post, you’d believe he was the first player to ever be suspended.

“I’m as shocked as everyone at todays news”

We’re supposed to believe that during the Kentucky Derby, Welker thinks he might have ingested Molly, knowingly or not, then was drug tested right after and remained completely oblivious as to what happened? He didn’t think to himself, “I felt really different last night”? We’re supposed to believe Welker felt no effect of taking amphetamines.

“I want to make one thing abundantly clear: I would NEVER knowingly take a substance to gain a competitive advantage in any way.”

Here’s where the semantics kick in. We know Welker wouldn’t knowingly take something to gain a competitive edge, but that’s not really the issue. Would Welker knowingly take something for recreational purposes? That’s the real question here, and one that’s not answered.

Molly is often cut with cheaper drugs, in the vast majority of cases amphetamine. We can read between the lines on Welker’s statement, and it paints the picture of a guy who knew he was taking a pill but didn’t know it was cut with amphetamines. That’s plausible, but Welker wants us to believe he’s above reproach -- while trying to turn this into a discussion about PEDs.

“Anyone who has ever played a down with me, lifted a weight with me, even eaten a meal with me, knows that I focus purely on what I put in my body and on the hard work I put in year round to perform at the highest levels year-in and year-out.”

“YOU DON’T KNOW ME, MAN!”

“I want any youth football players and all sports fans to know, there are NO shortcuts to success, and nothing but hard work and studying, leads to success.”

This was his rhetorical play throughout the statement; ignore the failed test, remove himself from the equation, focus on the hot button issue everyone cares about and deflect blame.

“I have never been concerned with the leagues performance enhancing or drug abuse policies because under no scenario would they ever apply to me”

On the one hand, Welker says he’d never knowingly take something to gain an advantage. On the other, he says he’s never paid attention to the drug policy. So he admits he wouldn’t know, even if he did take something. Essentially he’s trying to insulate himself from ever being penalized, but in the strangest way possible.

Ignorance isn’t a defense, whether he want us to believe he was slipped it or not.

“I now know, that (drug-policy procedures) are clearly flawed, and I will do everything in my power to ensure they are corrected, so other individuals and teams aren’t negatively affected so rashly like this.”

The drug policy Welker never read is flawed because he happened to be caught breaking it; that’s basically the crux of this. There was a time and place to try to overhaul the NFL drug policy, when CBA negotiations were taking place. Then again, there was no reason for him to talk about it then, because Welker never paid attention to it.

“I have worked my whole life to be the best that I can be, and I have encountered many obstacles over my career, and THIS WILL BE NO DIFFERENT!”

The caps let you know that HE IS SERIOUS. The message is the typical athlete crutch of overcoming adversity, even if said adversity is self-inflicted.

“Thank you for the outpouring of support, and I want Bronco nation to know, that no one and no thing will get in the way of our goal as a team, to bring Mr. Bowlen the trophy he and this great region deserve.”

Except, one thing kind of did get in the way here. You.

We’ll probably never know exactly what happened in Kentucky because Welker isn’t being forthright about any of this. By his version of events he might have taken something accidentally in Kentucky, or maybe his sample was tainted -- but he definitely didn’t take anything “knowingly.” That said, there was no way he could have knowingly violated the drug policy because he never read it in the first place.

Rest assured, drugs are bad, kids -- but only if you take them knowing what they are.