2017 NFL playoffs: 6 bubble teams we’d like to see crash the party

The 2017 NFL playoffs are less than a month away, and the postseason picture has already begun to take shape. The Cowboys are definitely in. The Patriots, Raiders, Chiefs, and Seahawks would have to collapse harder than the Western Roman Empire not to make it.

Behind them, a smattering of teams reach out from a quicksand pit of six- and seven-win records to shout “us, too.” A handful of these franchises could be counted on to create compelling postseason matchups regardless of record. The Vikings’ defense in a big game setting with a superhumanly healed Adrian Peterson? Budding superhero Marcus Mariota turning no-name receivers into curse words in a Nashville revival? Yes. Yes to both of those.

But the postseason is a fickle mistress. Last year we were treated to an instant classic between the Cardinals and Packers that featured a ridiculous fourth-and-20 conversion and another unbelievable Aaron Rodgers Hail Mary. The 2016 playoffs also included a Chiefs-Texans bloodletting gruesome enough to even make Eli Roth cringe.

We can’t control who gets in, and spoilers seem inevitable. The AFC South’s most notable contribution to the 2016 season is a dynamic approach to murdering fun. The AFC North’s top teams ping back and forth between putting on game of the year candidates and losing to Geno Smith. There are bound to be some low points during Wild Card Weekend.

But that doesn’t mean we can’t do some fantasy booking. Some teams are on the precipice of returning to the playoffs for the first time since Doug Pederson was just an underwhelming quarterback rather than an underwhelming head coach. Others have been postseason fixtures so long the playoffs would feel emptier without them. Here are the bubble teams — the 7-5, 6-6, 5-7 franchises on the periphery of the playoff hunt — we think would be the best picks to liven up our Wild Card round.

The Packers aren’t a fun and novel choice like, say, the Buccaneers or Titans returning to the postseason for the first times since Taylor Swift sang “country” songs. Green Bay has been to the playoffs every year the Titans haven’t over the past seven seasons. Mike McCarthy has a Super Bowl trophy resting comfortably at Lambeau to prove it. But this year’s Packer team feels different.

Mostly because the Packers are, well, bad — but in an interesting way. Green Bay offers the perfect combination of fun offense and extremely fun (by way of a terrible secondary) defense. Injuries have forced the Packers to rotate a smorgasbord of unproven young players into the starting rotation at cornerback, including Sinbad’s character from Necessary Roughness (doubly egregious, as Andre Krimm was both a lineman and, sadly, fictional) and an overturned mop with a bucket for a head. Opposing passers have a 102.1 rating against Green Bay this fall. Even quarterbacks like Blake Bortles (320 yards) and Brock Osweiler (two touchdowns) have had high-water mark games against the Pack.

So a Wild Card showdown with Matt Ryan or Matthew Stafford, each of whom is playing like a gypsy’s curse brought an NFL Blitz sprite to life, would be guaranteed fireworks. And though the Packers offense has struggled, last week’s proof of life from Jordy Nelson suggests the Green Bay passing attack is rounding back into form.

The postseason just wouldn’t feel the same without Green Bay. The Packers’ inclusion almost certainly means a shootout; a 44-41 type game in the Wild Card round with the possibility of a dramatic Hail Mary in the game’s final seconds. Sign me up.
- Christian D’Andrea

Look, in the interest of full disclosure, I’m a Falcons fan. This season, we’ve seen Atlanta’s offense firing on all cylinders, with Matt Ryan playing at an MVP-caliber level. We’ve also seen the Falcons blow late-game leads in losses, giving up winnable games.

Wait a minute, you may be saying. The Falcons are currently penciled in as the NFC South winner! They don’t count as a bubble team. If the season ended today, they’re set!

You’re not wrong, but the reality is, a Falcons playoff bid is far from certain right now, especially considering the injuries they’re dealing with on offense.

Julio Jones has turf toe, Mohamed Sanu has a groin strain, and left tackle Jake Matthews is dealing with a knee sprain. Any one of these injuries would be difficult to take on its own, but with all three of these players currently uncertain, Atlanta’s playoff hopes look uncertain, also.

But when the Falcons’ offense is healthy and fully functioning, they’re incredibly fun to watch. Jones, if he’s on the field, always has the potential to make game-changing plays, and players like Taylor Gabriel and Tevin Coleman have emerged as dynamic contributors to this high-scoring offense.

Atlanta’s defense leaves quite a bit to be desired, unless you’re looking for close, thrilling postseason games, and let’s face it, we are. The Falcons tend to give up big plays and let competitors keep up with Matt Ryan and company, which would make for some fun postseason viewing.
- Jeanna Thomas

Detroit is another team that’s sitting pretty atop its division — at the moment. But even with a two-game lead, the Lions have a daunting road ahead, finishing the season at the Giants, at the Cowboys, and then at home against the Packers. And we all remember the last time they hosted the Packers: Aaron Rodgers was gift-wrapped an untimed down, and then made Calvin Johnson do his best The Secret World of Alex Mack impression:

Megatron didn’t deserve that!

It’s almost cruel that the Lions would win the NFC North the year after Calvin Johnson retired. There’s no type of wide receiver I love more than one who shines on diaper-reeking teams, doing his damnedest to elevate the play of everyone around him. And that was Johnson for most of his career. The Lions made the playoffs twice in his nine seasons in the NFL, and both times it was as a Wild Card team and they were bounced right away.

There’s solace in knowing that Johnson has taken to retirement quite nicely. He shocked his former teammates when he joined the new season of Dancing with the Stars, and he cha-chaed all the way to the finals, flashing a megawatt smile the entire time as if he’s never been happier in his life:

The Lions are one of the oldest, and most hard-luck, franchises in the NFL. They’ve never even been to the Super Bowl. Not only has it been 23 years since they won their division, but they haven’t won a playoff game in even longer.

Yet, this season, you wonder if Lady Luck has decided to extinguish whatever her grievance was with them. They’re winning in ways no one quite believes, even their own fans. Or maybe the fans simply have been bitten too many times not to be shy.

Just please don’t crumble down the stretch, Lions. Win that division, maybe even win a playoff game for the first time in a quarter century. Do it for Calvin Johnson. He won’t be on the field with you, but I bet he’ll be watching — and grinning from ear to ear.
- Sarah Hardy

The Dolphins are one of the more confusing teams in the NFL. After starting 1-4 on the season and looking nearly as awful as any team in the NFL, they put together six consecutive victories to get to 7-4. In Week 13, they looked awful yet again in a 38-6 blowout loss to the Baltimore Ravens.

When they’re bad, there are fewer teams in the NFL that are worse. A lot of that has to be attributed to their many combinations of offensive lines trying to protect Ryan Tannehill and block for Jay Ajayi. It also has to do with a defense that just doesn’t have all that much talent on it, with its best player, safety Reshad Jones out for the season.

Yet, when they’re on, they’re really fun to watch. Jarvis Landry and Kenny Stills are a pair of good, speedy, fun receivers. When Tannehill is able to connect with them, the Dolphins are hard to beat. A lot of this also falls on the shoulders of Ajayi, who had a pair of consecutive 200-yard rushing games earlier this season. The running threat undoubtedly opens things up in the air. Even their defense stepped up in their winning streak. When you run the rock like that, and are also able to defend, that’s a great recipe for success.

The Dolphins haven’t made the playoffs since 2008, and it might be time for them to get a crack at things again. Even if they do terribly when they get there.
- Harry Lyles Jr.

Like the Miami Dolphins, the Buccaneers started the season looking awful and then shaped up to surge into the playoff race. Tampa Bay’s on a streak of four straight wins, including a pair against the Kansas City Chiefs and Seattle Seahawks.

The Buccaneers haven’t been to the playoffs since 2007 and haven’t won a postseason game since the team’s Super Bowl run in 2002. Times have been rough enough that most of the players on the team don’t even know what it’s like to be in the hunt this late in the year.

“I’ve never been in this situation, so I don’t know [laughs],” Seventh-year defensive tackle Gerald McCoy said Thursday when asked if games feel different now. “I would assume so. This being November, December football, for us, very meaningful football. You look around the league in past years, you’re like, ‘Hey, they say well this game counts and this game counts and this team’s in the hunt or that team is that number and that,’ that’s what this time is about.”

Among those players in the hunt for the first time is a fun nucleus of offensive players in Tampa Bay, including Jameis Winston and Mike Evans. Winston already has some big-game experience thanks to a national championship run at Florida State, and he was fun and goofy every step of the way.

Buccaneers coach Dirk Koetter says Winston has an ability to make corny things sound not so corny. If Tampa Bay can sneak into the playoffs, maybe we’ll get some of that not-so-corny corniness in January.
- Adam Stites

I had high hopes for the AFC South this year. Hell, I think I might’ve even picked the Jaguars to win the division back in August, though I probably should admit that. Out of all four teams the one I thought would fare the worst was the Titans. Now, they’re in the midst of a three-way tie for the division lead at 6-6 and are probably the best team out of that bunch, which includes the Texans and the Colts. At the very least, the Titans are the most enjoyable to watch out of that group.

You have to go all the way back to 2008 for the last time the Titans had a winning team. That also happened to be Jeff Fisher’s last winning season as an NFL head coach. Thanks to an owner and his heirs — who didn’t really seem to know how to clean up the mess Fisher left — the team slogged through a Mike Munchak era and followed that up with a season and a half of Ken Whisenhunt.

Nobody gave Mike Mularkey much of a chance when he got the interim dropped from his title in January this year. The Titans invested more than a team is supposed to in their running backs, all for some hair-brained scheme Mularkey called “exotic smashmouth.” It seemed like a dumb thing to do with a dynamic young passer like Marcus Mariota leading the offense.

I’m still not sure what the hell “exotic smashmouth” is, but whatever offense the Titans are running is working. They lead the NFL in red zone scoring, by a lot. Geoff Schwartz explained how they’re doing that recently.

People love plucky underdogs. Well, here you go, the Titans are your plucky underdog with a legitimate shot at winning the AFC South.

It would be nice to have an AFC South team that’s not a lock to lose an ugly game in the Wild Card round (looking at you, Texans). The Titans can be that team.
- Ryan Van Bibber