I am a Steelers fan. It would be unbecoming to use this space to write about how hard a life that is, because it is not a hard life. I was decades from conception when the team won four Super Bowls in the 1970s, but even still: Pittsburgh has won two of the last 12 championships, made the playoffs 11 of 17 times this century, finished at least .500 or better all but once in that span, and lucked into getting a franchise quarterback with the 11th pick in the draft the only time it didn’t.
Why the Steelers are as fun as football gets
In short: personality, drama, and talent.
Photo by Justin K. Aller/Getty Images
But rooting for the Steelers had gotten boring for me. It’s boring to have a quarterback who’s always going to be fine but never going to beat Tom Brady when it counts. It’s boring to have consistently bad corners who do things like give up 80-yard Tim Tebow touchdown passes in overtime in the playoffs. It’s boring to lose to two or three horrible teams every year, then hear boring talk radio callers lament that if Bill Cowher (pronounced Cah-er on most radio calls) were still the coach and not Mike Tomlin (career record: 108-59), things would be better. It just hasn’t been that fun!
But it’s fun now. The 2017 Steelers are football’s most high-powered, utterly enjoyable soap opera, and I am having a blast watching them.
1. They are good.
They have Le’Veon Bell, the best running back currently living. They have Antonio Brown, the best wide receiver currently living. Those two are on the same offense, together, hanging out and having fun doing football things. Ben Roethlisberger may indeed be washed, but you could put an average Big Ten West quarterback on the field with Brown and Bell and get at least Joe Flacco-level production from him.
Watching Bell and Brown in the same game is fun, and it’s been fun for years. The defense is even better, although it’s not as much fun to watch Cam Heyward shoot the B-gap as it is to watch Brown torch cornerbacks all afternoon.
Also, someone come get Dre Kirkpatrick:
The Steelers are 5-2 as I write this. They could win the AFC North with their entire 53-man roster blindfolded. If the Patriots somehow lose before the Steelers have to play them, Pittsburgh’s going to the Super Bowl and winning it.
2. They are dramatic as hell.
Roethlisberger intimates that he’s considering retirement pretty much on an annual basis now, and that’s an entertaining saga to see unfold in the Pittsburgh media every year. “Maybe I don’t have it anymore,” he said after throwing five picks in a recent loss to the Jaguars. (Throwing five picks to the Jaguars is a good indicator, I’d say.) Every Roethlisberger Retirement Cycle sets off a wondrous news cycle in Pittsburgh, which I compare to what it was like nationwide before Y2K.
Brown is the best in the world at what he does, so within reason, he can do what he wants, in my opinion. In this calendar year, some of those things he’s wanted to do include a locker room Facebook Live video that caught Tomlin calling the Patriots “assholes” and set off a week-long ruckus in Pittsburgh about whether Brown was a “distraction” and if the Steelers might be better served by trading the greatest receiver on the planet:
AB also rag-dolled a cooler a few weeks back. That was fine:
This was also a distraction, per Roethlisberger. (I can’t think of any ways in which Ben Roethlisberger calling a teammate a distraction could be ironic. None at all.)
Also in this calendar year, receiver Martavis Bryant has:
- Gotten into a Twitter fight with fellow receiver Sammie Coates after the Steelers drafted a receiver in the second round, claiming the player was Coates’ replacement. Tomlin literally @’d both receivers to tell them to “play nice boys.”
- Gotten reinstated by the NFL after a yearlong drug suspension.
- Demanded a trade or had one demanded on his behalf, then denied it.
- Days later, left absolutely no doubt that he wants to be traded.
- Been benched for this Sunday’s game at the Lions.
Bryant hasn’t seen many targets with that second-round pick, JuJu Smith-Schuster, becoming more of a focal point in the offense instead. Bryant more or less called out the rookie on Instagram for taking his snaps.
3. They have JuJu Smith-Schuster, football’s most fun player.
Get to know him:
Smith-Schuster is 20, the youngest player in the NFL. He has three touchdowns this season. He does not have a driver’s license, so he rides a bike.
That bike was stolen (probably not by Bryant, but who knows?) and later returned to a local police department after a citywide bike hunt that went national on Twitter.
He even commemorated the adventure on a pair of cleats:
4. They do the most consistently good celebrations in the NFL.
Earning that distinction has been a collaborative effort between Brown, Bell, Smith-Schuster, and Bryant. But I’m confident that they are the best.
Bryant and Brown playing imaginary craps:
Smith-Schuster playing imaginary Dragon Ball Z:
Bell using the upright as a punching bag:
(Bell was penalized, because the NFL are still cops.)
And Smith-Schuster and Bell playing hide-and-seek, while Brown looks on and clearly wants to be part of the bit even though he doesn’t know what’s happening:
5. They call enjoyable fake punts.
Calling that savage fakery with a two-score lead in your own territory in the fourth quarter of a game against a division rival that employs Vontaze Burfict is one of the greatest power moves any team will pull all season.
The Steelers are now entertaining pretty much every day of the week.
All of the bad things about the NFL are still bad. I don’t mean to offer this as an unequivocal endorsement of the Steelers as the patron saints of all that is good and holy about football, because that doesn’t exist.
But sports should be fun, and following the Steelers in 2017 is a whole lot of fun.
See More:
