There are hundreds and hundreds of blog posts, experts, odds, and other ways you could have prepared for Super Bowl LI and made a prediction for who would win. You could have read our own panel of experts, or trusted the Fort Worth Zoo orangutan. (I wouldn’t recommend trusting anything from Fort Worth, but hey, I’m a jaded Dallas resident.)
Martha Stewart’s pet falcon correctly predicted the Falcons’ 21-3 halftime lead
But only one person (well, avian) truly knew what would happen in Super Bowl LI: Martha Stewart’s falcon.
- OF COURSE MARTHA STEWART HAS A FALCON ON HER FARM
- SERIOUSLY THIS IS THE LEAST SURPRISING THING OF ALL TIME
- I’m a little mad Martha Stewart didn’t share this knowledge with us before the game, so I could have made some bets, instead of waiting until the Falcons understandably started winning. Since we knew they were gonna start winning no matter what, thanks to Martha Stewart’s Falcon.
- Does she know that you need a space before hashtags for them to work?
- I mean, obviously she does not. That’s OK. I don’t want to live in a world where Martha Stewart actually knows how to use hashtags. That just wouldn’t be right.
- As I write this post, I’ve learned that you cannot write just “Martha” or “Stewart” or it won’t feel right. It’s gotta be Martha Stewart. Her name is Martha Stewart. Here are a few test sentences, just so you can see what I mean. Hi Martha Stewart, it’s so nice to meet you! Hey Martha Stewart, are you angry about something? Um, Martha Stewart, please put down that baseball bat. What are you doing, Martha Stewart!? MARTHA STEWART STOP.
- See what I mean? It’s gotta be the full name.
- If you were actually wondering, Martha Stewart has some T-Mobile commercial that she’s a part of.
Thank you, Martha Stewart, and thank you, Martha Stewart’s falcon. Of course you were the only person to truly know who would win this game.
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