Jon Gruden should give the Raiders their money back. (Ha ha, that’ll never happen)

I suppose Mark Davis, the good for nothing son that’s a staple of privileged families everywhere, believed he was pulling off a real coup when he was the one to finally lure Jon Gruden out of the broadcast booth and back on the sidelines. There must have been some oedipal shit going on there too — rehiring the brand name coach that Al Davis, his father, got rid of and doing it with a 10-year, $100 million set of shackles.

Making costly, franchise-altering decisions is baked into the Raiders’ DNA.

A season of lows dropped to an even deeper level of despair in Thursday night’s 34-3 loss to a 1-7 49ers team (now, 2-7) forced to start their third-string, undrafted quarterback.

Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

Naturally, that kind of one-sided loss had people whispering about the Raiders having quit on Gruden. It wasn’t just Twitter speculation either. At least one unnamed player from the 49ers said it too.

Players, including quarterback Derek Carr and tight end Jared Cook, denied that anyone had given up. So did the coaches.

But even Gruden was somewhat subdued after the game. When asked if he could praise his team’s effort, he said “I don’t think so.” He added, “I’m not going to say anything about the effort.”

It was a contrast to his earlier boast that had people across the internet sharing in one big laugh.

“I got a cell phone just like you and everybody else, and I get a lot of phone calls from people who are dying to come and play here. “I’m just telling you, to have salary cap space, to have a chance to talk to the people that you really want to wear the silver and black and represent this team, that’s exciting.”

After the game, he maintained his delusion about being a desirable landing spot AND building a championship team.

“I see players after every game we play that want to be Raiders,” he said. “That’s been the case my whole life. And I think the brand of the Raiders is an exciting one, and I think a lot of players no doubt do want to play for us in the future. And I’m not gonna speculate any further on that.

“I’m not gonna get into who calls me and who texts me.”

You have to appreciate that while some are asking if players are quitting on the head coach, the head coach is talking about ALLLLLLLL the people who want to wear the Silver and Black and, more specifically, play for him.

Oh, also, that’s pretty blatantly tampering, if true. I can’t imagine an NFL investigation though. Gruden and the Raiders are their own punishment, taking away draft picks might just end up saving them from themselves.

No matter how insufferable the Raiders are to watch this season, Gruden is at least keeping us entertained with the batshit stuff he’s constantly blurting out to anyone with a microphone. And it’s all mostly pretty non-threatening, at least for anyone who’s not a Raiders fan.

Gruden best quote, or at least the one that deserves the most attention right now, is something he said in July.

“If I can’t get it done, I’m not going to take their money,” he told USA Today this summer.

He’s one half of one season into his decade-long commitment. If he cut bait now, he might be able to get out of this on the cheap, or as cheap as possible. That’s not going to happen.

It’s fun to imagine authority figures being held accountable for saying stupid shit, but Gruden’s vow to refund the Raiders’ money is just a platitude.

No, the reality is much worse. Gruden’s not going anywhere, and he’ll probably only tighten his grip on the team after this season. He’s got a scapegoat in general manager Reggie McKenzie, the whole franchise is leaving town and there’s a pile of first-round picks just waiting to be squandered on some magic beans and a new pass rusher who won’t be as good as Khalil Mack.