Hue Jackson keeps comparing people to the Pied Piper, and it’s awful

There are plenty of people you may be compared to if you display leadership qualities at your job. If you’re a a motivator of people through thick and thin to stand up for good, you could be called Churchill-ian. If you’re a driven ruler who builds an empire through force, will, and strategy, you may be compared to Genghis Khan.

Or, if you’re a quarterback Hue Jackson likes, you’ll probably get compared to a fairy tale man with a magic flute and a hatred of rats. Like Baker Mayfield was Tuesday at the NFL’s annual league meeting.

Never mind that Jackson’s quote paints the 2017 Heisman Trophy winner as some kind of Michael Jackson impersonator hypnotist in Norman, OK. Instead focus on that first part, where he calls Mayfield the Pied Piper and compares the rest of the Oklahoma football program to the plague infected rats he would rid from medieval towns. If it seems familiar, it’s because it’s an analogy that pops into Jackson’s head a lot.

A lot.

In the past, he’s used the Pied Piper to refer to:

This is a bad comparison! The Pied Piper is a grifter who catches rats, so magical flute aside, Jackson’s number one leader is just a music-loving exterminator. You know who else was a music loving exterminator, at least for one season? Jesse Katsopolis. Throw that into your NFL analogy machine and see if it works for you:

“We like what Sam Darnold brings to the huddle. He’s a real Uncle Jesse on offense.”

“If Josh Rosen keeps this up, we’ll have to call our new Browns offense Jesse and the Rippers.”

“Bradley Chubb has infected this team with his Katsopolis-like attitude. He’s really turned our defensive line into a bunch of Rush Hour Renegades.”

See? Just as stupid.

Of course, the actual story of the Pied Piper ends with him luring a town’s worth of children to their certain doom, so it makes total sense as a comparison for being drafted by the Browns.