The best anagrams of Super Bowl LIII, ranked

The Super Bowl is here, and there are plenty of ways to dissect the various matchups between the Patriots and the Rams. But for a lighter, frivolous look at the big game, look no further. The anagram trope seemed to work once during the NFL playoffs, so I’m going back to the well for some very important Super Bowl anagrams.

“Super Bowl” doesn’t lend itself to very many anagrams worth noting. We’ve all heard Superb Owl, and a player on Sunday could conceivably get an elbow spur. But perhaps the best Super Bowl anagram perfectly describes the service at most bars on this jam-packed Sunday: Slower pub.

If we get more specific and use “Super Bowl LIII” instead, there are a few more options. I bruise pillow and I blew up iris oil are a little too weird, so maybe the best way to go is to think of a commercial for a Star Wars movie we would all certainly watch: Obi Will Rise Up.

After that warmup, here are the best anagrams of Super Bowl 53:

I had high hopes for this one, with Sean McVay taking on Bill Belichick. But McVay’s short name isn’t fruitful for anagram purposes, with his best choice being Many caves. There are more options for Belichick, but they mostly fall flat, so we’ll go with Ill bible chick here.

The CBS analyst might be a bigger star now than he was in his quarterbacking days, thanks to his ability to convey what is happening on the field to a wide audience. Mr. Onto Yo is nearly perfect for Romo, only missing one letter, but it works. Romo’s game-calling is even more impressive given that his television broadcast booth at most stadiums is not roomy.

If the Rams lineman ever broke into the president’s office at Tesla, police might have to tell him, “Go unhand Musk.”

The Patriots wide receiver anagrams to “Used to play lacrosse.” Don’t fact check this one.

I’m not totally sure where the Rams wide receiver will end up after his long contract is up, but I have a vague idea: “Broncos, kinda?”

New Orleans was mostly able to truly dodge the LA running back, who had only seven touches in the NFC Championship Game. Now, the Rams will need Gurley as they try & duel God, or whatever you would call Belichick.

With all the moves on display by the Patriots wide receiver, in many ways Sunday can be billed as a male ninja duel. If the Super Bowl is shown in prison, there is a chance the game might be seen by a lame, jailed nun.

I’m not sure what kind of appetite you have on Super Bowl Sunday, but you can watch the Patriots kicker and his friends while eating Chinese food, with a nightspot’s wok seek.

As you are watching the Patriots tight end in what may or may not be his final game, you can yell, “Ribs wrong, kook!“ at the grill person at your block party if they mess up the main course.

If Sunday’s game might bore you, you could always take a recreated porn stroll through the lurid parts of the internet. If the Patriots win, Coach Belichick might pay homage to his mentor with a Parcelled retro snort.

The Patriots rookie running back leads everyone in the playoffs with 242 yards and five rushing touchdowns, but imagine if he comes up just short on a third or fourth down: “Lo, my inches!”

The Rams kicker, or energizer lug if you will, sent the NFC title game into overtime with a 48-yard field goal, then won it in overtime by booming a 57-yarder, one yard shy of an NFL postseason record. If the Super Bowl stays close late, the Patriots are sure to rue zinger leg.