The unexpected emotional ride of watching my brother make the Super Bowl

Super Bowl 54 will be upon us soon. The Kansas City Chiefs are making their first appearance in 50 years. They play the San Francisco 49ers, who are looking for their sixth Super Bowl win, tying the Steelers and Patriots for most Lombardi trophies of any franchise.

A top offense with an exceptional QB and an ascending defense for the Chiefs against the elite defense and the methodical offense of the 49ers. It should be special.

And for my family, this game is extra special.

I’m 33 years old. I grew up in a sports household. We watched sports every night — baseball, basketball, and football. I went to every UCLA football game from the time I could walk fast enough to keep up with my dad, until I went to Oregon. As a kid, like most of us growing up with sports in our life, I’d role-play making the game-winning shot in the NBA Finals, the walk-off home run in the World Series, and throwing the winning pass in the Super Bowl.

I imagine I’ve watched near every Super Bowl, whether I remember them or not. My first memory of the game was in 1995, when my childhood favorite 49ers laid the wood to the San Diego Chargers. As a youngster, you’d watch the pageantry surrounding the final game of every NFL season and understand this one is different. But, it’s near impossible to understand the magnitude of the game sitting from your couch.

When I entered the league, I quickly learned what the Super Bowl meant to people around the NFL. Older players and coaches discussed the game in mythical terms. The Super Bowl is more than 60 minutes between two foes — it’s about legacy. It will define you for the rest of your life. The Super Bowl is the reason we all come to work. Yes, we make money, but we also play so we can say we are Super Bowl champions.

And while my dream of playing in a Super Bowl never happened during my eight-year playing career (0-3 in the playoffs), I get to watch my younger brother, Chiefs right tackle Mitchell Schwartz, get his first start in the big game on Sunday. And wow, what a fulfilling experience it’s going to be.

I’m not an emotional person. I’m never too high or too low. I believe in balance and, with that, you need to control your feelings. Even with my family, I try to remain relaxed, focused, and not deterred by little irritants. Steady. It’s been how I’ve watched my brother play his entire career, starting in college at California, through his time in Cleveland and now finishing up his fourth season in Kansas City.

Unlike my parents, who rightfully get emotional watching their kids play, I’ve always watched Mitch with a calm focus on what he’s doing on each play. I’d know he was prepared, he studied, and was able to execute his assignment. Did he make mistakes? Of course, we all do. But since I played the same position as he does, I know what it feels like making those mistakes.

When Mitch was a youngster in the NFL, I’d watch his game and if I was watching it live, I’d text him notes on certain plays in real time. I knew exactly what plays he’d have questions about. After games, we’d chat about what happened and just debrief. Over time, as Mitch has excelled as a player, we have these conversations less and less, because he didn’t need any of my help.

But as you’d suspect, I am still his biggest fan. I’ve always admired Mitch’s ability to diagnosis what is being presented to him. His recognition of the pass rush he’s about to engage with and his way of countering that. Playing smarter, not harder. That was never my style. I just couldn’t do it. I wanted to maul people and wasn’t able to play as technically sound. It probably shortened my career, but who knows. I don’t have any regrets.

I was pumped when Mitch signed with the Chiefs, considering I loved my single season in Kansas City with Andy Reid. I watched Mitch’s first two seasons end in playoff losses, and I felt sadness because I knew he was disappointed. But I believed those teams could win it all, which took away some of the sting. That changed last season in the Divisional Round.

The Chiefs entered the postseason as the No. 1 seed. I sat down in the kitchen to watch the game. And I got nervous. I had never experienced this feeling before watching my brother play on this level. The Chiefs were supposed to beat the Colts, and I was anxious about it. I’m not sure what came over me, but it was a rough few hours, even with the Chiefs dominating the Colts. When the Chiefs won, I settled down, texted my brother congratulations, and started to plan my travel to Kansas City for the AFC Championship Game.

At that game against the Patriots, I was on edge at first, but being around 70,000 jittery Chiefs fans actually calmed me down. I was able to watch the game without much nerves, even as the Chiefs were trailing early in the game. It was a crushing defeat in overtime and I felt awful for my brother, who was clearly excited about his first championship game. After a few days, I was back home in Charlotte and life continued.

Entering this season, the Chiefs’ only goal was getting to the Super Bowl in Miami. When they struggled midway through the season, I was a calm voice on social media. I made the case that it was early in the season and the Chiefs were beat up. Be patient. Don’t panic. It’s easy for me to make that statement, as I’ve played and understand the flow of a season, and I ended up being right.

Things broke right for the Chiefs. They were matched up with the Texans in the Divisional Round, a game I thought the Chiefs would win easily. The Chiefs got down 24-0 and I wasn’t worried. It was early and they had made their own mistakes. Then Kansas City went on a 51-7 run to win, 51-31. Then it was back to the championship game, this time against the Titans.

I was concerned about the Titans. They were playing well and I didn’t know if anyone was going to stop the freight train. I got myself all worked up heading into the game. I got that nervous feeling again. I was sitting at the kitchen, all alone while my kids napped. The game didn’t start well for the Chiefs. My anxiety picked up as the Titans scored, making it 17-7.

Then, Patrick Mahomes happened.

Suddenly, the Chiefs were headed into halftime up 21-17. I knew it was over then. The second half went the Chiefs’ way, and they eventually got to hoist the Lamar Hunt Trophy in victory, heading to Miami to face the 49ers.

After the game ended, my wife and kids left me alone. They went to start the nighttime routine. I turned off the game, sat quietly in my chair, and started to tear up. I did not plan on crying, but I was so overcome with emotion after being worked up for hours. I skipped dinner (a rarity for me), and just sat there thinking about this moment for Mitch for a few hours.

How special. A Super Bowl. A legacy-defining event. I can’t wait until Sunday.