Mike McCarthy is poised to become the new head coach of the Dallas Cowboys, and ESPN’s Adam Schefter has an idea on how the deal got done.
17 reasons Jerry Jones’ sleepovers are irresistible
Nobody can say no.
Robert Deutsch-USA TODAY Sports
James Dator has been covering a wide range of sports for SB Nation for over a decade, with a special focus on the NFL.
“Once you stay at Jerry’s house, he doesn’t lose his guy.”
That’s a hell of a statement that I’m still mentally unpacking. It feels like a cry for help more than an inspirational example of an NFL owner getting what he wants. Honestly, part of me thinks if you or a loved one is called to stay at Jones’ house, you should preemptively call the police just so people know your whereabouts.
Maybe we’re going too far. Perhaps this all far less creepy than we might think. There’s a chance Jerry is just able to be your best friend for an evening and host a sleepover so amazing that you have to accept a job from him if only for the possibility of more sleepovers.
17 things Jones might do with you at his house that aren’t sexual.
- Play in a game room with an Xbox One, a PS4 AND a Switch.
- Use a make-your-own sundae bar with all the trimmings.
- Experience a Nickelodeon Guts! marathon, except live action and he’s set up the full gym on his property and hired the cast.
- Watch a laser disc copy of Brewster’s Millions.
- Enjoy a magic show from David Copperfield.
- Be enthralled by a private reading of David Copperfield by Sir Patrick Stewart.
- Take a trip to international waters on his wild mega-yacht.
- Engorge yourself on all the Twizzlers you can eat.
- Take you for a shopping spree at Toys R Us, which he purchased and re-opened just to take you on a shopping spree at Toys R Us.
- Go out for a nice steak dinner at Sizzler WITH the salad bar added.
- Rest for a night in a Sleep Number bed which bizarrely had been set EXACTLY to your needs.
- Indulge in every bath bomb you could ever want to use, all in a big ol’ jacuzzi tub.
- Watch in awe as Wolfgang Puck making you s’mores over a deluxe fire pit.
- Have fun on a waterslide!
- Enjoy a pizza party!
- Staying up as late as you want without your parents to say “no.”
- Playing a late night Goldeneye marathon, and Jerry lets you pick Oddjob.
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