The Team USA and Team Canada 2018 Winter Olympics jerseys are awful

If you don’t know by now, we here at SB Nation are in the business of jersey critiques. When the World Cup of Hockey graced us with eight new jerseys to enjoy, we were very happy to offer our opinions on the subject. Then, when the Vegas Golden Knights joined the fold, we took a look at some of the old expansion draft jerseys of the past 25 years.

Now, 100 days out from the start of the 2018 Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang, we have ourselves a few new jerseys. On Wednesday, both Team USA and Team Canada released their uniforms for the upcoming Olympics and ... they sure are something.

There’s, to say the least, a lot happening in both of these jerseys. For starters, both Team USA and Team Canada are very similar stylistically, with the triangular designs on the sleeves and the modern font. Though the jerseys for the other 10 teams participating have yet to be released, it’s very likely we see something similar for the rest of them.

However, these showings from both Team USA and Team Canada are, simply, bad. I am normally all for the revival of the 1990s, but the stylings on both look more accustomed to soccer kits than hockey jerseys.

Seriously, crop the Team USA jerseys off at the elbow and tell me if you could definitively say these were for a hockey team.

Soccer kits, of course, aren’t bad, but the look just feels off for an event rooted in incredibly sacred uniforms. Just ask Team USA’s 1980 men’s team.

USA Hockey does tout these new uniforms as as being the “fastest looking and brightest jerseys ever” for the team. The sleeves, in particular, are based on “bald eagle feathers and represents the theme of fluid force.”

That doesn’t say anything about the font choice, or the strange gradient pattern the white away jerseys have inside the letters.

The Canadians don’t fare well either, as the chrome maple leaf and similar sleeve designs feel even more forced than Team USA. At least with the American jerseys, the sleeves blend in. On Canada’s, the pattern stops strangely before the shoulders, making the whole look feel disjointed.

To be fair, both sets of jerseys look marginally better when worn by an actual human being. Also, much like the Golden Knights, both Team USA and Canada have the better white jersey than the colored one, and honestly it’s not even close.

Still, it’s no wonder the NHL backed out of the Olympics if THESE are what they’ll be wearing. Both jerseys feel more suited for a summer beach soccer tournament than the Olympics with their tacky sleeve patterns.

My totally expert advice? Leave the experimentation to tournaments like the World Cup of Hockey and stick with the tried and true staples of your Olympic brand. The fans, and the players, will likely be better off for it.