For months people have speculated that Gerard Piqué, Barcelona’s all-world center half, is romantically linked to Colombian pop star Shakira, though neither have confirmed the relationship. Now, Piqué has foiled a €150,000 bounty for a picture of him with the starlet by posting this to his Facebook:
Add “Shakira” To The List Of Reasons To Hate Gerard Pique
And thus, we can add “semi-confirmed relationship with Shakira” to the reasons why Gerard Piqué‘s life is so much better than yours.
The 24-year-old Catalan, who has the Huxtable-esque distinction of being the son of a lawyer and a medical professional, has already won one Premier League, two Spanish Primeras, a World Club Cup, a European Championship and a World Cup. He’s also become a key component to arguably the best club side of all time.
Now, as if to rub it in, Piqué is flippantly posting casual pictures of himself with one of the most popular entries on husbands’ “allowed” lists. Worse is how casual Piqué is about it. Shortly after the world plots their holy grail quest for the proof, Piqué takes to his Facebook, implicitly saying “that which you seek is at my fingertips. Here’s your picture, pleebs.”
If you’re going to distribute this, Gerard, at least do something to confirm the link between you and Shakira. That you elect to have an arm around Carles Puyol and not her tells us “Yeah, I hang out with Shakira, but I barely notice. It’s really not a big deal.”
No, it’s not a big deal that your life is so, so much better than mine, Gerard. It’s something I’ve gotten used to. Go ahead and post your black American Express card and your Pro Evolution sessions with Xavi Hernández. At this point, nothing will phase me, not even your relationship with Shakira.
Jerk.
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