Major League Soccer Week 19: Red Bulls Salvage Tie, Justin Braun Completes Hat Trick

I don’t know that there’s any reason for anyone to be offended over this, as everything on here is pretty harmless. I just don’t think it’s particularly funny.

For starters, I’m a little appalled that someone thought Matt Stairs was famous enough to be included in this ... TWICE!!!! As a lover of comedy, this is the only thing that makes this borderline offensive. No Pam Anderson? No Jim Carey? But Matt Stairs twice? My head is going to explode.

As we are constantly reminded in MLS, some ownerships just don’t seem to get “it.” Mostly, “it” refers to the unique -- at least in the North American landscape -- nature of supporters culture. While some teams -- not so coincidentally many of the more highly attended ones -- have embraced this relationship, some of them continue to show a baffling lack of comprehension.

There’s missing the point, and then there’s having no idea whatsoever the point could have possibly been. Is Heck really explaining his understanding that supporters don’t, in fact, have to cheer on their team? Is he really bringing up the infinitely unrelated issue of the Norway tragedy? Is there any chance he actually read the letter supporters sent his office?

The two sides played almost exactly even, with both firing off 18 shots and putting three of them on target. But Gaven was the only player able to find the back of the net, ending a 259-minute goalless streak for the Crew.

The Crew, meanwhile, seem to be doing just enough to stay alive for the No. 1 seed in the Eastern Conference. This was their third 1-0 win of the season and the 15th time in 21 matches that they’ve scored one or fewer goals.

It’s been a bit of a strange season for Braun, who has been relegated to the bench and fought a couple lengthy scoring slumps. His first hat trick ended a 10-match goalless streak and he entered this match having scored just once in his past 11 appearances. Braun now has seven goals this season, just two short of his career high that he set a year ago.