All of these games look important on the face of it but when you look at the numbers zero percent of what happens this weekend will matter a lick. You should still watch them and stuff though. For sure.
Premier League 2012, Week 31: Newcastle-Liverpool Face Off In The Race For...Something Or Other
Things could start to work themselves out in the relegation battle, but since all of those teams are playing way better teams probably not. And this could be a pivotal week in the title race, but it’s not like anyone would guess ahead of time.
Aston Villa vs. Chelsea
Saturday 3/31; 15:00 GMT/10:00 ET
The last time these two sides met, Villa emerged victorious with a famous 3-1 victory! How exciting. Clearly that is a harbinger for what’s to come tomorrow.
Pick: Chelsea, 3-0
Saturday 3/31; 15:00 GMT/10:00 ET
After a start to the season that had everyone gnashing teeth, rending garments, etc, Everton went on to put the unpleasantness behind them pretty quickly. And then they kind of kept going. To the point where they’re within reach of Europa. And no one noticed.
The next time I see David Moyes, I'm buying him a shot.
Pick: Everton, 2-1
Fulham vs. Norwich City
Saturday 3/31; 15:00 GMT/10:00 ET
This is one of those games that happen 4-5 times a year that people that loooove long-balls and “counter-attacking” point to as justification for their entire worldview.
Pick: Fulham, 2-1
Saturday 3/31; 15:00 GMT/10:00 ET
City is objectively way better and all, but they've underachieved so often in these situations and respectable types love yes-manning Martin O'Neill (over and over and over and oh, there's space for a breath, and over and over again) that I'm still inclined, on some level, to pick the Black Cats here.
It’s a pretty low level.
Pick: City, 3-1
Saturday 3/31; 15:00 GMT/10:00 ET
This London “rivalry” should be “chock full” of imminently “memorable” events and “moments” which we can all “cherish.”
Pick: Arsenal, 4-1
Saturday 3/31; 15:00 GMT/10:00 ET
Blah blah blah contrast in styles blah blah blah survival of the fittest blah blah blah superiority of England blah blah blah *fart noise*
Wolverhampton Wanderers vs. Bolton Wanderers
Saturday 3/31; 15:00 GMT/10:00 ET
no
Pick: Bolton, 3-2
Sunday 4/1; 13:30 GMT/8:30 ET
This is going to be the worst matchup of good teams since the 1879 FA Cup final.
Pick: Draw, 1-1
Sunday 4/1; 16:00 GMT/11:00 ET
Well okay, Swansea probably isn’t going to Europe next season. Spurs are, so they’re better, right? Well, probably. But Spurs are all weird and stuff.
Pick: Spurs, 3-2
Monday 4/2; 20:00 GMT/3:00 ET
Gross gross gross gross gross grosssssss.
Pick: United, 2-0
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