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Come Fan with UsFriday, July 3, 2026

FC Dallas Vs. Portland Timbers, 2012 MLS: The Timbers Are A Joke

It wasn't John Spencer's fault. Like his managing or not, he wasn't the sole reason that the Portland Timbers were awful and since he has been fired, it seems like the team is intent on proving that. They sure proved it on Saturday, getting routed by lowly FC Dallas, 5-0, in a match that made the Timbers look like a bunch of AYSO players*.

* Not the good AYSO players. The really bad, probably fat ones who are more excited for their orange slices than the match.

The Timbers should have known that they were in for a long night when Hanyer Mosquera scored an own goal to open things. Andrew Jacobson, Jackson, Scott Sealy and Ruben Luna then added goals of their own. Congratulations to Dallas on the win, which they deserved, but let's be honest -- this was more about how putrid Portland was.

Portland has now allowed five goals in two of their last three matches. MLS should adopt relegation just for them.

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