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Come Fan with UsSaturday, June 20, 2026

Bayern Munich is so good that their center backs pass like Andrea Pirlo

This is so unfair.

Alexander Hassenstein/Getty Images

Bayern Munich was amazing enough when they had defenders who were just good at defending, and good attackers that did all the attacking. Now, they seem to have added another dimension: central defenders who can distribute as well as any world class regista.

Their opponents on Sunday, Borussia Dortmund, did a really good job of compressing space in midfield and making it hard for Xabi Alonso to start attacks. They played a high defensive line, they got in Alonso's face, and Bayern found it hard to get dangerous attacks going quickly. What Dortmund didn't do was aggressively press Bayern's central defenders, because why the heck would you do that? You need all your legs to chase their midifelders and forwards around for 90 minutes. And if you press their defenders, you give up space for those very good midfielders and attackers. It's best to stand off them, then press aggressively when the ball is further up the field, at the feet of a more dangerous player. Right?

HAHA, NO, YOUR’E SCREWED ANYWAY.

Credit: user cppn02 on r/soccer

Bayern scored their opening goal via a ball over the top by Jerome Boateng, previously thought of as perfectly adequate but not spectacular with his distribution. But that pass is some downright filthy Andrea Pirlo type of stuff. And when a team with one of the best midfields in the world also has a central defender who can pass like that, there's not a lot you can do to defend them.

And Bayern wasn’t done.

Credit: user slappedstick on r/soccer

That's their third goal, scored by Robert Lewandowski less than a minute into the second half. Again, assisted by Boateng. Again, the pass was perfect.

Bayern won this game 5-1 against a very good team, using a very sensible game plan, who really didn’t play all that poorly. They are a horrifying soccer machine, and they’ve apparently added a new weapon.

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