Sepp Blatter says it’s not his fault everyone in FIFA is corrupt and terrible

Sepp Blatter has so far remained unscathed from the ongoing investigations into bribery and corruption within FIFA that has included the arrests of several current and former members of his all-powerful Executive Committee, and today during his speech to mark the opening of a new session of FIFA’s congress in Switzerland, he took further steps to distance himself from the scandal.

“You will agree with me, these are unprecedented and difficult times for FIFA,” Blatter said of the chain of events that kicked off Wednesday morning. Difficult it certainly is, with 14 indictments handed down from the United States Department of Justice for FIFA executives and several sports marketing executives with close ties to FIFA and various continental federations.

Blatter had a chance from that point to use this speech to say “we screwed up, but we’re going to do better now” -- but instead, he decided to play the “it’s not my fault!” card.

It’s certainly an interesting, if predictable, tactic to take. Sepp is basically pointing his finger at those already arrested and screaming “It was them! It was all them!” Now it’s time for him to hope really, really hard that none of them come back with information that can bite him. Someone should probably remind him that Jack Warner, Blatter’s one-time right-hand man before a 2011 corruption scandal forced him to resign from FIFA and CONCACAF, is among those indicted and in custody. If anyone knows where the bodies are buried, so to speak, it’s Warner.

Of course, what’s a cliche-filled speech of hopeful redirection without a little bit of hope for peace, both in the sport and the world at large.

Touching, really.

Blatter is still expected to retain his presidency in Friday’s election despite calls for him to resign and opposition from Price Ali bin Al-Hussein of Jordan, the only man who declared a candidacy for the position earlier this year who is still up for election.