MLS didn’t ruin the USWNT parade, but their presence was still lame and unwelcome

When fans found out that Major League Soccer and two of their teams, New York City FC and New York Red Bulls, would have a presence at the United States women’s national team’s World Cup celebration parade, they got really mad.

Soccer Twitter was a garbage fire of takes on Thursday, and as usual, there were lots of Outrage Firefighters attempting to put it out. Instead, by going “come on, it’s not that bad, no need to get worked up about this,” they were actually throwing lighter fluid on the fire. Women’s soccer fans got even more pissed off.

Now that the parade was an obvious, roaring success and the MLS floats just had kids on them, not their active players, the I Told You So Brigade is joking that Thursday’s meltdown was unwarranted, because the MLS presence didn’t ruin the parade or detract from the USWNT’s celebration. And they’re missing the point entirely.

Women’s soccer in the United States is analogous to a celebrity who becomes wildly successful despite a difficult upbringing and an absentee parent.

Imagine you’ve just become rich and famous due to nothing but your hard work and dedication. You grew up without one of your parents around, and they’d brush you off if you ever tried to grow your relationship with them. You’d call, you’d ask to hang out, but they’d come up with excuses and blow you off.

Fast forward to your big debut on national television. You’re as successful as you’d always dreamed you’d be, and it was all because of your hard work. You had plenty of obstacles put in front of you and no support from the people who were supposed to be your support system, but you made it anyway.

Then that absentee parent you tried so hard to get to pay attention to you and help you calls. “Hey, how’s it going,” they ask, “I heard you’re doing really well! I’m so proud of you! You know I’ve always loved you, right?”

But it’s not true. They don’t actually care about you. They care that you’ve become successful, and they want to know how that can benefit them. They are a leech.

Somehow, they convince you that you can be good for each other. You let them show up to your major events. Does their presence detract from your accomplishments or make people enjoy your work less? No, not at all, but they’re also doing nothing for you, have never done anything for you, and really need to go the hell away.

This is Major League Soccer’s relationship to women’s soccer in America. They care about it when it’s convenient for them and when it can benefit them. When women’s soccer is struggling and it needs them, MLS is absolutely nowhere to be found.

That’s why they were unwelcome at the ticker tape parade, and why supporters of women’s soccer wanted them to go away. If NYCFC and the Red Bulls had put energy behind promoting Sky Blue FC matches all the time, the New Jersey NWSL outfit wouldn’t have any financial problems, but the MLS teams don’t do that. They don’t care about women’s soccer until it can do something for them.

Just because someone isn’t “ruining” an event doesn’t mean they shouldn’t go away.

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