The Premier League spent all weekend rubbing delicious goal pie all over its greedy face. Thirty-six in 9 games! Here are our three favorites, chosen this time around for their general significance in the wider scheme of things.
Daniel Sturridge had the best goal in the Premier League this week
It was a fine weekend for goals in England, and Daniel Sturridge, Harry Kane and Wayne Rooney scored perhaps the most important.
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3. Wayne Rooney, Manchester United vs Sunderland
Funny things, goal droughts. When they stretch across all competitions then they’re worrying things, but once they start to get more specific — and so more contrived — they also start to feel a little desperate. It was concerning, for Manchester United, that Wayne Rooney didn’t score in the first four games of the season. But then he scored three in Europe, followed by a couple for England.
Ah, but he wasn’t scoring in domestic football, and you can’t really count goals against teams like Club Brugge, San Marino and, er, Switzerland. And last week’s goal against Ipswich Town doesn’t count either, since that was in the League Cup and they were from the Championship. And so it was that his goal against Sunderland was greeted with much rejoicing, as the Great Goal Drought (League Football Only) finally came to an end. Hooray!
That's not why it's in here, though. It's here because as a goal, it neatly parcels up the strange position that Wayne Rooney holds in Manchester United's team. Though he's not been entirely dreadful this season, he's also not been brilliant, and there has been much discussion about where his best position might be, and if it's really "on the bench". For perhaps the first time in his career, it might be ...
... though even if it is, he’s going nowhere. He is the captain; he is the senior player; he is, as far as anybody can tell, the first name on Louis van Gaal’s teamsheet. He’s just there. He’s basically a gigantic piece of inherited furniture, a huge, room-dominating wardrobe. Nobody can get rid of it for all sorts of complicated reasons; nobody really knows where’s best to put it; and there’s space for cruel jokes about a lack of mobility and usefulness in there, too, if you’re feeling uncharitable.
So it was no coincidence that he broke his drought with a goal that still would have gone in had he literally been replaced, at the moment of impact, by a wardrobe. There he was, existing, a solid and discreet object. Across came the ball, punted at full speed by Anthony Martial. And in went the goal, bouncing off his handle and into the net. Did we say handle? We meant handle. Knee!
Dean Mouhtaropoulos/GettyImages & PericlesofAthens/English Wikipedia
2. Harry Kane, Tottenham vs Manchester City
Of course, Rooney wasn’t the only footballer rejoicing in the return of cool goal-rain to drought-blighted lands. Harry Kane is back in business as well, scoring the third as Tottenham hammered Manchester City to the surprise of everybody, not least themselves.
What’s so pleasing about this goal is that it is both exactly, and exactly not, the kind of chance a striker in need of a goal would want. Give me a rebound, the drought-afflicted forward begs of the universe. Give me a keeper who has dived out of the way and a defense on their heels. Give me a open goal. I deserve it for all the channels I’ve run, all the defenders I’ve pressed, all the work I’ve put in. I need it.
And the kind, caring universe responds by saying: yes! No problem. But ... In this case, the caveats are that the ball, having just come back off the post, will be spinning strangely, will be traveling at an uncomfortable pace, and will be bouncing at an awkward height. It all adds up to precisely the wrong kind of chance for the suffering striker: a tricky finish that looks easy, and so will look ridiculous if missed. Imagine the crowd noise. Imagine the “Wheeeeeey!”
Instead, the blessed rush of relief. He got over it, just; he accounted for the spin, just; and he scored the goal. And Spurs went on to win! A fittingly weird opening to a generally weird weekend.
1. Daniel Sturridge, Liverpool vs. Aston Villa
There are many ways for the under-pressure Premier League manager to ride out the storm and keep his job. He can stick close to the principles and ideas that got him the job in the first, trusting to his own wisdom and the faith of those above him. But we know Brendan Rodgers is not such a manager; after all, he arrived as an outspoken evangelist for the principles of possession, then nearly won a league title by embracing the counterattack.
But that’s fine. And that’s another way out: when things aren’t going well enough, change them. Tear up the plans, burn the playbook and try something different. In football, it’s almost always better to lose one’s principles than to lose one’s job. Rodgers, to his credit, has two successful reinventions on his record: one nearly won him the league; the second, last season’s three-at-the-back, kept him his job.
The problem is, however, that those successful reinventions are done — Suarez sold Barcelona; the back three picked apart by Manchester United and Stoke — and whatever’s supposed to be coming along next, isn’t. Liverpool are poor, people are grumbling, and Rodgers has exactly one option left.
Luckily for him, it’s the single most powerful weapon a manager can deploy: pick a really good goalscorer, and have him score loads of goals. So it’s welcome back, Daniel Sturridge! Your manager would like to shake you firmly by the hand, but he can’t, because he can’t afford to uncross his fingers, even for a moment. As go your muscles, so goes his future.
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