FIFA reduces Sepp Blatter, Michel Platini bans because they’re nice people who like soccer

Sepp Blatter and Michel Platini won’t be partaking in any soccer-related activities for a while, but FIFA says they can get back to work a bit sooner than expected. On Wednesday, the FIFA appeals committee reduced their bans from eight years to six.

Here’s FIFA’s statement on the decision. Emphasis on the most ridiculous part of this passage is ours.

While agreeing with the principles and arguments presented by the adjudicatory chamber in its calculation of the sanction, the Appeal Committee determined that some strong mitigating factors for Mr Platini and Mr Blatter were not taken into account when establishing the sanction. In this sense, amongst others, the Appeal Committee considered that Mr Platini’s and Mr Blatter’s activities and the services they had rendered to FIFA, UEFA and football in general over the years should deserve appropriate recognition as a mitigating factor. Thus, after carefully analysing and taking into consideration the exceptional mitigating circumstances of the cases, it was determined that a one-year reduction of the five-year ban for a breach of art. 20 of the FCE was proper, and similarly a one-year reduction of the three-year ban for the other breaches was also proper.

Basically, FIFA decided that Platini and Blatter shouldn’t be punished as harshly as initially recommended because they worked at FIFA.

The eight-year bans for Blatter, who is the outgoing FIFA president and Platini, outgoing UEFA president, were handed down by the FIFA ethics committee, an independent body. This review by the FIFA appeals committee was done by people directly involved in FIFA, and sounds pretty shady.

But don’t worry, everyone. FIFA has taken notice of recent indictments, heard your concerns and is working hard to get corruption out of the game. Corruption, by the way, is the one thing that Blatter and Platini were charged with, but not found guilty of.