Here everyone, the best World Cup theory going around right now:
Is Cristiano Ronaldo cultivating his appearance so he looks like an actual goat?
It seems insane that this would be a subtle dig at Lionel Messi, but I choose to believe it.
There is a growing belief that Cristiano Ronaldo is cultivating his facial hair and styling his entire look so that he appears to be a goat.
Now, he’s not going so far as to get shoes styled like hooves or anything. But soccer fans on the internet are having a hard time believing that after his hat trick in the opening game Cristiano Ronaldo decided that the small goatee (GOATee ... eh?) was a good thing to grow out before the game against Morocco, without ulterior motives.
Ronaldo is doing this as a not so subtle response to the Lionel Messi ads with Adidas where he poses with goats and is labeled a G.O.A.T. — the greatest of all time.
On top of that, look at how Ronaldo celebrated a goal in the first match of the World Cup against Spain.
INTERESTING ... ISN’T IT?
UPDATE: Ronaldo scored again against Morocco, and again he celebrated by pointing at the goatee. THIS IS HAPPENING.
Photo by Maddie Meyer/Getty Images
Here are some more potential goal celebrations for Goat Ronaldo:
- Chew grass, then somehow demonstrate that because you are the GOAT, you are able to digest the grass like a goat would. I’m not sure how you demonstrate this. Maybe with a poster board that details how you have grown a four-compartment stomach and have the ability to break down grass with your goat digestive system.
- Headbutt a teammate. I’d say headbutt an opponent but that would probably result in a card of some sort.
- Jump atop the crossbar, and display your surprising agility by being able to perch atop it on all fours.
- Run up to the camera and demonstrate that your pupils are now rectangles. (Goats have those, I learned on a trip to the petting zoo with my nephew not too long ago.)
Wake up sheeple, and recognize that the best player at this World Cup is becoming a goat.
Join us in this theory. Let’s do this.
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