WrestleMania 31: The full rundown and why you should care

For weeks -- almost for months -- the build to WrestleMania 31 seemed lackluster. All the matches seemed unwanted or predictable. But at the 11th hour, WWE once again pulled their annual magic feat by having a tremendous go-home RAW, announcing the re-signing of Brock Lesnar and unleashing the floodgates of their unparalleled hype machine. The result? We’re excited about WrestleMania. REAL excited. Why wouldn’t we be? It’s the biggest show of the year and all bets are off.

WrestleMania begins at 7 p.m. ET Sunday, with a special WrestleMania countdown pre-show on the WWE Network beginning at at 5 p.m. The official “kickoff show” will begin at 6:30 p.m. and features a Fatal 4-Way match for the WWE Tag Team Championship, as well as the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. Just stay tuned to the WWE Network pretty much all day Sunday and you should be fine.

So whether you’re a diehard fan, a newbie or just haven’t watched since last year’s WrestleMania (mostly understandable), here’s everything you need to know and why you’ll be emotionally invested by the end of the night.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Cesaro & Tyson Kidd (c) vs. The New Day vs. Los Matadores vs. The Usos

What am I looking at here? The reigning champions are the underrated superteam of Cesaro -- who is both the Swiss Superman and King of Swing -- and Tyson Kidd, the last graduate of the legendary Hart Family Dungeon. Kidd loves cats and kind of hates his wife (Natalya) and Cesaro loves being basically the strongest person you’ve ever seen not named “Mark Henry.” The New Day of Big E and Kofi Kingston (who will be accompanied by third member Xavier Woods) are ... complicated. But they’re good wrestlers, which is all that should matter in this match. Los Matadores have a long and proud pro wrestling lineage, but they’re bullfighters in masks, accompanied to the ring by a tiny, anthropomorphic bull named El Torito. Somehow, this is much better than it sounds. The Usos are the twin sons of Rikishi (who got inducted into the Hall of Fame on Saturday night) and they’re fiery good guys. They’re also the former champions and are out to get their titles back.

Why you should care: This is just going to be a fun, balls-to-the-wall tag team match to get things started on the right foot. The (assumedly) one-fall-to-a-finish nature of the Fatal 4-Way should lend a frantic pace to the match and get right to the heart of the matter: Kofi and Los Matadores (and probably El Torito) are going to do a lot of high flying. The Usos are going to superkick everything. Cesaro is going to hurl three men into the sun. Like I said: unabashed fun, which is everything that WrestleMania always aspires to be.

2nd annual Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

What am I looking at here? This new WrestleMania tradition began last year in honor of Andre, who was better at battles royal than pretty much anyone, ever. The winner of this match gets a five-foot-tall Andre trophy and (theoretically) the prestige of winning the event. Announced participants so far are Konnor & Viktor of the Ascension, Big Show, Mark Henry, Kane, Ryback, Erick Rowan, The Miz, Damien Mizdow, Goldust, Darren Young, Titus O’Neil, Jack Swagger, Curtis Axel, Fandango, Adam Rose, Zack Ryder, Sin Cara, Heath Slater and Hideo Itami, who won a tournament at WWE Axxess on Thursday night to become the sole NXT representative. Itami -- who formerly wrestled all over the world as KENTA -- will be making his main roster debut.

Why you should care: Battles royal (especially at big WWE events) are pretty much always great. This match lets almost everyone on the roster get a big payday, which is great, but last year’s inaugural Andre featured one of the best WWE moments of the year: Cesaro picking up the Big Show and tossing him right over the top rope. While Cesaro’s momentum fizzled for a bit after winning the trophy, this spot is wide open for some jaw-dropping moments and the potential of elevating a new star. I have absolutely no idea who is going to win this one, which is always neat.

AJ Lee & Paige vs. Nikki & Brie Bella

What am I looking at here? Nikki and Brie Bella are the twin-sister stars of E!‘s Total Divas reality show. They don’t care for AJ and Paige, who don’t fit their ideal of what a “real” WWE Diva should look like (I think that’s where we’re at, at any rate). Nikki is the current Divas champion, but this is just a tag team match with no belt on the line.

Why you should care: There was recently a large #GiveDivasAChance movement on social media, where fans told WWE they wanted to see the women on their main roster get more of an opportunity to shine both as characters and in the ring. WrestleMania is a chance for WWE to give the Divas a nice long look and prove on their largest stage that they support their women wrestlers as athletes and performers. It helps that AJ, Paige and Nikki are probably the three best women wrestlers on the main roster.

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

What am I looking at here? You probably know who Randy Orton is. If you should at all get confused, just remember that he’s the one who isn’t wearing pants. Seth Rollins, despite not being able to pick a uniform hair color, is one of the most impressive and well-rounded wrestlers on the roster. It’s probably because of CrossFit. He’s also the current holder of the “Money in the Bank” briefcase, which guarantees the holder one WWE World Heavyweight Championship match, any time, any place. Pay attention, because there’s an outside chance that may be important later.

Why you should care: Randy Orton has quietly been one of the best wrestlers, most capable of telling a coherent story in the ring, for several years now. This is the one true no-frills wrestling match on the WrestleMania card, and while Seth’s personal goons “J&J Security” (Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury) may get involved, this will largely be two really good wrestlers having a really good match in front of like 70,000 people. That’s awesome, right?

Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match: Bad News Barrett (c) vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper vs. Stardust vs. R-Truth

What am I looking at here? Daniel Bryan, the man who won it all last year, is the little guy with the big beard who will probably be landing on his head and neck way more often than wrestling fans are comfortable with. Luke Harper is the big guy with the big beard and is the designated HOSS in this match, the guy responsible for tossing chumps around and being dived onto. Bad News Barrett is the dastardly British heel and reigning champion, and deserves much bigger things. Probably. Dolph Ziggler is the blond guy who is probably going to land directly on his head every time he falls off a ladder and will make you freak the hell out. Stardust is the brother of Goldust. He’ll be the one in face paint. R-Truth is an amiable rapper, just happy to be here. Dean Ambrose is “the lunatic fringe,” a legitimately unhinged guy who wrestles in jeans and will definitely deliver an elbow drop off a ladder onto a group of STANDING opponents.

Why you should care: It’s a seven-person ladder match. All of these guys are out to steal the show and they’re more than willing to put their bodies on the line to do so. The odds are overwhelmingly good that you’ll spend most of this match reacting to it like NBA players react to the Slam Dunk Contest.

United States Championship Match: Rusev (c) vs. John Cena

What am I looking at here? If you don’t know who John Cena is, congratulations on traversing time and space. Welcome to Earth. Please enjoy our breathable oxygen and drive-through Starbucks locations. Rusev is a Russian monster (actually a Bulgarian Brute) who frigging LOVES Vladimir Putin. Since coming to the main WWE roster, he has never been pinned or submitted. Heck, he even owns a victory over Cena. He’s the current United States Champion and Cena is determined to bring that title back to AMERICA, Jack.

Why you should care: This is an old-school throwback feud, where AMERICA is here to make NOT AMERICA stop saying bad things about it. Just ignore the fact that John Cena has been the big bully in this feud and Rusev has been an inspirational national hero and enjoy Levi’s Stadium chanting U-S-A, U-S-A while a giant American flag unfurls.

The Undertaker vs. Bray Wyatt

What am I looking at here? CREEPY BAYOU CULT LEADER VS. GHOST DAD.

Why you should care: CREEPY BAYOU CULT LEADER VS. GHOST DAD. The Undertaker’s undefeated streak at WrestleMania was snapped last year when Brock Lesnar stunned the world. Bray Wyatt is out to take Undertaker’s place as the WWE’s resident cult/ghost/supernatural figure. He’s pure evil and is dressed like a Parrothead. This might be one of the last matches you ever see from the Undertaker, so just enjoy it. It’s the Undertaker at WrestleMania. That’s still special.

Sting vs. Triple H

What am I looking at here? Sting is the guy in the Crow makeup and My Chemical Romance jacket. Triple H will reportedly be making his way to the ring with a full Terminator-themed entrance, in honor of his buddy Arnold Schwarzenegger. So ... he’s that guy. He’s also the real-life COO of the WWE, married to Stephanie McMahon and one of the most successful professional wrestlers of all time.

Why you should care: Sting, one of the faces of WCW, is essentially the only star of the “Monday Night Wars” era to have never wrestled a match for WWE. He will make his WWE debut on the grandest stage of them all, Sunday at WrestleMania, when he goes up against Triple H. There’s been some leaning on revisionist history as to WHY these two men are fighting, storyline-wise, but that doesn’t matter. Sting is finally going to wrestle for WWE, he is going to wrestle at WrestleMania, and he is going to wrestle Triple H, who will probably give him the best possible match at this point in both men’s careers. Just lean back and enjoy it.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match: Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Roman Reigns

What am I looking at here? Brock Lesnar is a literal monster. He’s an athletic freak of nature and one of the most terrifying men that has ever lived. The only man to ever win world championships in the NCAA, WWE and UFC (and New Japan Pro Wrestling, for good measure). He’s held the WWE World Heavyweight Championship since taking it from John Cena at SummerSlam. Roman Reigns is the new golden child of the WWE. He’s a former member of the massively popular stable The Shield, the son of Hall of Famer Sika of the Wild Samoans and the cousin of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. He won the Royal Rumble to earn this main-event shot at the title.

Why you should care: Few matches in recent memory have been as unpredictable as this one. The WWE’s handling of Roman Reigns has split wrestling fans solidly down the middle, with many already having turned against him before he’s even gotten a real shot at being “the guy” yet. With Lesnar having just announced his re-signing with the company, WWE may opt to keep the belt on him. Not out of the question is having Lesnar’s manager, Paul Heyman, turn on him and side with Reigns in what would be a double-turn and change the alignments of both men. Also not out of the question, no matter who wins the match and comes away with the title, is Reigns’ former Shield brother Seth Rollins coming out to cash in his Money in the Bank contract.

Regardless of who walks away from WrestleMania with the world title, the allure of the unknown result is one of the main reasons to be excited about this year’s event. And also Brock Lesnar. You should always, always be excited about Brock Lesnar.