WWE Hell in a Cell 2018: 5 things we learned Sunday night

There was some hell on Sunday night, and some of it took place in a cell. Conveniently enough, it occurred at Hell in a Cell. Now I’m upset that I made an Inferno joke in the preview for the event, because I bet I could have done wonders with Randy Orton trying to turn Jeff Hardy’s ear into a pretzel with a screwdriver, through the lens of Dante. Alas.

Well, let’s just dive right into what we learned, then.

Becky Lynch is your new SmackDown women’s champion after a hard-fought match in which she did not heel it up, in which she cut no corners, in which she did not cheat. She just outwrestled Charlotte, avoided being put into the Figure Eight leg lock, and snatched a surprise pin on the previous champ to end the match and force a title change.

Charlotte, trying to be the bigger person, attempted to reconcile with Becky right then and there by hoisting her arm up and helping her to celebrate her well-earned victory. I say “trying” to be the bigger person, though, because that action shows exactly zero recognition of the point that Becky was trying to make when she decided to attack Charlotte (and attack her again, and again) after Flair won the title last month at SummerSlam.

It wasn’t about Becky just showing Charlotte she’s worthy of the title and capable of beating her best friend fair and square. It’s about how Becky has had to work and work and work, and Charlotte is incapable of recognizing her own privilege, and Charlotte herself has stood in the way of her friend because in the end, all that truly matters to Charlotte is Charlotte. What Becky needed from Charlotte in that moment was recognition of what exactly caused the rift in their friendship, and an admission that yes, Becky is right: Charlotte’s idea of friendship is having a sidekick, not an equal, at your side. Charlotte was not ready to do that.

So, Becky refused to let Charlotte make the moment of her winning the title be about Charlotte, and instead walked to the back with the title after letting Charlotte know that very thing. Charlotte had a bemused look on her face that could have meant a couple of different things.

The answer to just what that look meant should come on Tuesday on SmackDown, when Charlotte has had two days to think about whether it’s true that she bears some responsibility for how their friendship has broken apart, or decides, in true Flair fashion, that everyone else is in the wrong, and it’s Becky who must pay for that.

I’m really pulling for Charlotte to stop living this lie and embrace her inner Flair.

This has been the year of Seth Rollins, and while he’s the common denominator in all of the feuds and matches that have led me to say that in 2018, credit is obviously due to his opponents and partners as well. Rollins and Ambrose might have lost the RAW tag team championship match against Dolph Ziggler and Drew McIntyre, but that’s besides the point for our purposes: it was the match of the night at Hell in a Cell, and a reminder that WWE can do exciting-as-h*ck tag team wrestling when they choose to remember that’s an option.

And later on in the night, they showed up to brawl outside the Hell in a Cell match Braun Strowman and Roman Reigns were having, too. Leaving aside that Strowman and Reigns took a nap for like eight minutes while these dudes climbed the cage and then fought on top of it and then, in the case of Rollins and Ziggler, fell off the side of it, it was a fun segment that gave me serious anxiety. I’m not expecting anyone to fall through the cell into the ring like Mick Foley did 20 years ago when the cage gave out and cost Mick some teeth in the process, but that doesn’t mean I can see the fencing sag with the weight of four men on it and feel something besides a creeping panic.

The match was a lot of fun, besides the whole nap thing. Strowman and Reigns beat the shit out of each other, and I love that Reigns, who normally looks so badass and calm in his matches, looks panicked and distraught every time he does anything to Strowman or has something done to him by Strowman. There’s a guy afraid that if he hits Strowman the wrong way, he’s only going to make Braun mad instead of hurt, and I love that it reflects in Roman’s face.

Brock Lesnar showing up and laying both men out was a surprise, one that will likely mean we’re seeing a three-way match for the universal championship in the near future. There’s a poetry to that, even if some of us aren’t necessarily ready for Brock to return. Braun’s presence helped distract Brock enough for Lesnar to be speared and pinned by Reigns back at SummerSlam, so why shouldn’t Brock return the favor by ruining Strowman’s cash-in of the Money in the Bank briefcase a month later? And now, at the next full-roster pay-per-view, Survivor Series, maybe we get Brock invoking his rematch clause while Strowman gets to point out that he’s not finished with either of them yet. And then, a violent dance between the three of them, which should also serve to leave it somewhat open as to who the winner could be.

Ronda Rousey remains a force of nature as well as RAW women’s champion, but Alexa Bliss’ plan nearly worked. Bliss attacked Rousey in the lead-up to their Hell in a Cell match, weakening her ribs and giving Alexa a focal point to continue damaging during the fight itself. It nearly worked, too, as Ronda seemed susceptible and vulnerable at times during the match, unlike in their previous encounter, which was basically a squash with awkward yelling into the crowd.

The yelling was missing this time, as was the squashing, and it made for a much better outing. It showed you can hurt Rousey, and if you can hurt her, then, in theory, you can beat her, too. Alexa didn’t do it, but she’s shown the rest of the locker room what needs to be done to take the strap off of Ronda.

I have to give Jeff Hardy and Randy Orton some credit here. I like both of them plenty, but there are times where Hardy’s act can get a bit by the numbers, and by the numbers is Orton’s wheelhouse more often than anyone would like. Rather than have a pedestrian Hell in a Cell match, though, the two used the structure and the loosened nature of its rules to inflict violence on each other, some of it pretty inventive, even!

Hardy’s belt came off, so Orton used it as a whip. Not satisfied with the effectiveness of this, Hardy took the belt himself later, turned it around so the metal spikes on it were facing out, and whipped Orton’s back until it bled from spike-shaped holes. Orton may or may not have had something sticking out of his thigh for much of the back half of the match, that thankfully no one pulled out until they were in the back and could contain the blood that would have gushed forth. If it wasn’t something lodged into Orton’s thigh, it was a big chunk of his thigh that got ripped off, so, you know, either way.

Oh, and also Orton stuck a screwdriver into Jeff Hardy’s gauged piercing hole and then twisted the screwdriver again and again until Hardy’s ear was just absolutely stretched out and ruined and while I think you should never ever seek it out I also embedded it for you to watch.