A World With Shaq in PHX Is a World Worth Grieving

By Bethlehem Shoals
I’m sorry I didn’t weigh in sooner on the Shaq to Phoenix rumor. To paraphrase Obama’s speech last night (and a favorite Allen Toussaint jam), it went from a murmur to a roar in no time. All of a sudden, we heard it was going to happen -- I was bleary, angry, and a little insane.
[img=http://i.tsn.com/i/photos/20080206/86381.jpg]
Amare and Shawn during better times.
Instead, I’ve decided to go easy on the pro/con analysis. My girl knows who Gerald Wallace is, but could hardly be called an NBA expert; when I announced the semi-trade to her, she rattled off all the reasons why it made no sense. The one bright spot that occurred to me as I drifted off to sleep, under much duress, was that this is addition by subtraction. This gets Boris Diaw back in the starting lineup, and that blue collar fighter Brian Skinner can strut his stuff even more often. Right?
What I’m really concerned about is myself. I don’t care that the Suns had trouble winning a title. They stood for everything that made me love this game, and today, I suffer through my own kind of mourning. To help me through this process, I’ve turned to those psychology classes I never took in college. First, there’s Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s famed Five Stages of Grief. You’ve probably heard those at your local mortuary, or on Six Feet Under:
1. Denial: The proof is in the chat transcripts. I probably typed “no effing way” or “this can’t be happening” fifty times last night.
2. Anger: I wrote this in the throes of psychosis. Looking at it now, I’m frankly kind of disturbed. Also, how gimpy is this team all of a sudden? Nash, Amare, Grant Hill ... and now Shaq?
3. Bargaining: I’m guessing that’s where I’m at right now. Hence the rationalization up top, and that weird oil painting of Diaw I just started working on.
4. Depression: This will hit the first time I watch the new look Suns play. One time, my laptop fell into a lake, and he was never the same again. It pained me to look upon him, and I suddenly understood why they shot horses (before PETA).
5. Acceptance: “To everything (turn, turn, turn)/There is a season (turn, turn, turn)/And a time for every purpose, under heaven/For everything, there is a season.” Wisdom from your local guitar-strumming, Reform rabbi. What remains to be seen is whether I’ll just have to move on, or the Suns will surprise us all and make us forget all about Shawn Marion.
There’s also Dr. Roberta Temes’s lesser-known model. Kubler-Ross is kind of played out, so I figured I’d hit you with this more esoteric stuff:
1. Numbness: I’m typing, but I can’t feel my hands. Basketball just doesn’t coarse through me like it usually does. Shock, but more quiet.
2. Disorganization: My apologies to anyone reading this post.
3. Reorganization: I’ll get by. We all will. And the media will discover a thousand new cliches for describing the Suns.
Basketball has changed forever. Please, let’s all join hands and gather strength as we move on. Together, we can figure out what the hell Steve Kerr is thinking, and find the mercy to not burn him in effigy.
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Bethlehem Shoals is our newest blogger here at The Sporting Blog and will be covering all things NBA in this space about five times a week. He will also continue to maintain his personal site at FreeDarko.com. ↵