Rampage Jackson Has a Message For The Kids

Hi, kids. Rampage Jackson here. You might remember me from the time I slammed a man to the mat noggin-first from eight feet in the air, lifting him off the mat with little more than my erector spinae and legs.
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↵Yes, that was an impressive moment. for me -- ingenious, even, something MMA fighters don’t get enough credit for, in my humble opinion.
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↵Unfortunately, I have two problems. First, I’m pretty recognizable to begin with: a huge, bald black dude who has been on television a lot from all angles. Second, my big truck has a picture of my big self on the side with my name emblazoned on the side. Meaning what, you ask?
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↵Well, if you decide to leave the scene of a hit-and-run accident you may have been involved in and want to, you know, “blend in” with the population? Well, I just learned something: the cops don’t like it when you drive on the sidewalk during the chase, “causing pedestrians to flee for their lives.”
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↵Also, a second but vital tip: don’t do it if you’re driving a truck with your name and picture on it.
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↵Just a few tips from your buddy Rampage, who wants all of you to hope and pray I get to make my rematch with Forrest Griffin happen after all this “reckless driving, hit-and-run, and resisting arrest” business clears up.
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↵Love, xoxoxoxoxo
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↵Rampage.
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↵p.s. AROOOOOO!!!!!!!! ↵