General

Your Stage 12 Tour de France Update

Jul 18, 2008, 7:45 PM UTC

First, to get this all out of the way again: the Tour de France still exists. Thank you, and proceed to the rest of the post.
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What happened today? â†µ

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â†µOh, just your leisurely stage 12 ride at eight zillion miles per hour from Narbonne to Nimes across 180 km of gorgeous French countryside. A few climbs, but overall a day for the sprinters that pleases even Satan himself with an average speed of around 41 km/hr, or for you imperial types, a whopping HOLY SMOKING HELL miles per hour. â†µ

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Um, any doping scandals today? â†µ

â†µâ†µNothing new, though the entire Saunier Duval team pulled out after two of its riders got tangled up in supplemental trouble. The connoisseur of doping scandals knows that the truly classic and gross examples of doping will likely come in later time trials when a rider, pressed for time to make up ground, gasses themselves up with EPO or cocaine or horse steroids or pure kerosene and “miraculously” finishes fifteen minutes ahead of the rest of the competition after tanking the previous week’s stages. â†µ

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â†µIs Mark Cavendish still obliterating everyone on sprints? â†µâ†µ

â†µâ†µAffirmative. The announcing team never fails to mention that he’s from the Isle of Man (which is a bit weird) and then secondly never fails to praise his skill. The call today was “THE ROCKET IS OFF!” as Cavendish, initially boxed in by the middle of the peloton, bolted in the final stretch in Nimes to take his fourth straight sprinting win. The overall lead, however, remains in the hands of Aussie Cadel Evans, who credits his strength this tour to training at home with a great white shark strapped to his back. â†µ

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â†µWhy are Versus' producers so much tougher than any other sports producers? â†µâ†µ

â†µâ†µBecause one of their producers actually rides the race stage before the competitors do every morning. Professional dedication, you have been redefined. â†µ

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â†µAnything else? â†µâ†µ

â†µâ†µI didn’t catch his name, but a rider actually split his bike in two hitting a road sign in a traffic island. Naturally, despite somersaulting off the bike and onto asphalt, he got up, grabbed a new bike, and finished the stage without complaint. â†µ

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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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