Matt Leinart, No. 7: One Day Of Freedom

On September 4, 2010, Matt was released by the Arizona Cardinals, thus completing a five-year span in which he regressed from Heisman Trophy winner to first-round draft pick to bench player to starter to bench player to a man without a job. On Sunday morning, he woke up with zero responsibilities. He left his home without making his bed, walked to a nearby Starbucks, and purchased a pastry, which he'd never done before. It tasted okay. He walked outside and continued to walk and walk and walk, taking in the life of a man who owed an answer to nobody. Oh God, he thought. Oh Lord, this is glorious.

On September 6, 2010, Matt was signed by the Texans, and in doing so regressed to the man you expect him to be. I sure hope you think it was worth it. I'm sure he'll throw a touchdown, and I'm sure he'll do it just for you, you monster.