Rangers Considering Trade For Corey Hart

Not the baseball player, either. The Rangers were really, really bored, so they decided to set the record for most people wearing sunglasses at night. The Rangers gave out 33,000 pairs of sunglasses before the game. A bunch of people, including former President George W. Bush, put the sunglasses on. It was dark. So that set a record. Or something.

↵Look, if I had to read about it, I felt like I had to share the misery. At least the Rangers still hold the only world record that matters: most Oddibes on one team.