The Animated GIFs Of June, Acts II Through V

(Click image to view. Via @bubbaprog)
CHRIS BOSH. That was basically the worst drive to the net of all time. I’m so embarrassed. I’m going to curl into a ball! Maybe nobody will notice me!
BOSH. (curls in ball)
BOSH. (waits)
BOSH. (waits)
BOSH. all right, kind of insulted by how effective this ended up being

ACT III.
SHANE VICTORINO. So basically, you have four bases. Well, three bases and a home plate. Kind of like people say they have four fingers an a thumb instead of five fingers.
BRETT HAYES. So you take one of the bases and throw it at one of the other bases until a senator begins to cry.
SHANE VICTORINO. No! No. None of those things.
BRETT HAYES. Not even the bases?
SHANE VICTORINO. Okay, yes, well, the bases, but you don’t pick them up. They stay still.
BRETT HAYES. Just like the baseball.
SHANE VICTORINO. No, the baseball moves.
BRETT HAYES. But only if the governor successfully navigates the obstacle course in time.
SHANE VICTORINO. No, listen, none of that happens at all. The batter’s goal is to hit the ball and make it around all three bases and to home plate safely.
BRETT HAYES. Hmm. Okay, but since I’m the catcher, I can pull a lever and send him falling into a super-gross pit full of slime!
SHANE VICTORINO. No.
BRETT HAYES. Right, okay, I can pull this fake lever, and the producer sees me do that and takes that as the sign to pull the actual lever and send him falling into a super-gross pit of--
SHANE VICTORINO. God! No! Here. I’ve spent the last hour explaining it to you. Let’s play. Here’s the ball. Give it a try.
BRETT HAYES. Okeydoke.

(Via Dan McQuade)

SHANE VICTORINO. Ow! What the f***?
BRETT HAYES. Now you’re the constable and I’m the racketeer! Hooray!
SHANE VICTORINO. what
BRETT HAYES. You’ll never catch me, Constable Victorino! For wrongdoing is buried into the heart of every man! You may lock up the criminal, but never the crime! (toots kazoo)
SHANE VICTORINO. Stop it. This is the most incorrect way to play baseball I have ever seen.
BRETT HAYES. (sadly toots kazoo)

BRAD MARCHARD. So what’s the deal here?
DANIEL SEDIN. I’m a pacifist, that’s the deal.
MARCHARD. Why would you ever want to be a pacifist?
SEDIN. Listen, I’m not going to fight back, because fighting back would be the natural thing to do. It is what millions upon millions of years of evolution in my bones are begging me to do: protect myself when threatened. I am interested in resisting this instruction, thereby becoming supernatural. Or, at least, unnatural.
MARCHARD. Don’t change the subject. What’s with you and pacifism?
SEDIN. I believe firmly in the existence of pacifiers.
MARCHARD. Huh? Where I’m from, they call them soothers.
SEDIN. “Soothers”? What the hell? Who calls them “soothers”? Where are you from? Greenland?
MARCHARD. In England they call them “dummies.”
SEDIN. In England they call you dummies!
MARCHARD. I’M NOT A PLURAL SHUT UP (PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH)
SEDIN. ok now i wish i weren’t a pacifist

(Click image to view. Via @bubbaprog)

BANK OF AMERICA EXECUTIVE. (dials phone)
FOX SPORTS FLORIDA EXECUTIVE. Hello?
BANK OF AMERICA EXECUTIVE. Hello, yes, I was hoping I could speak with you about tonight’s Florida Marlins broadcast.
FOX SPORTS FLORIDA EXECUTIVE. Certainly.
BANK OF AMERICA EXECUTIVE. Well, as you’re aware, we’ve bought advertising space on your programming. To be specific, a bit of brand insertion. We created the “Save of the Game” campaign.
FOX SPORTS FLORIDA EXECUTIVE. Yes, of course.
BANK OF AMERICA EXECUTIVE. Well, the idea was originally to show a clip of a great play, or a closer coming in for the save. You know, to highlight the association between “saving the game” and “saving for your future.” Really tying it together.
FOX SPORTS FLORIDA EXECUTIVE. Yes. Has there been a problem?
BANK OF AMERICA EXECUTIVE. Well, one of our people tuned into the end of the broadcast this evening, and instead of running a highlight, you just ran video of an elderly man. He was... trying to punch somebody, I think.
FOX SPORTS FLORIDA EXECUTIVE. Wow!
BANK OF AMERICA EXECUTIVE. He appears to have been in the dugout, too.
FOX SPORTS FLORIDA EXECUTIVE. No, I mean wow! One of your people saw our broadcast? On television?
BANK OF AMERICA EXECUTIVE. Uh, yes?
FOX SPORTS FLORIDA EXECUTIVE. Oh my God! Susan! Susan, honey, someone saw us on the TV! We’ve made it!
SUSAN. (barely audible over phone) Oh my God! Oh my God!
FOX SPORTS FLORIDA EXECUTIVE. Let’s have a party! It’s time for a party!
BANK OF AMERICA EXECUTIVE. I’m sorry, I--
SUSAN. Where are the party things?
FOX SPORTS FLORIDA EXECUTIVE. They’re in the party drawer, honey. (into phone) Would you like to come over? We’re going to have a party.
BANK OF AMERICA EXECUTIVE. I just, I... don’t think so.
SUSAN. I found the party things! They were exactly where you said they would be!
FOX SPORTS FLORIDA EXECUTIVE. WE WERE ON TELEVISION!
SUSAN. (twirls noisemakers) OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
BANK OF AMERICA EXECUTIVE. (hangs up)