When I was in elementary school, we had a janitor named Mr. Coffee. It could have been Mr. Coffey, because I never saw it written. This is probably a different Mr. Coffey. This Mr. Coffey is pretty rich. Ken Rosenthal:
Todd Coffey, Dodgers Reach Agreement
The Los Angeles Dodgers are signing free agent reliever Todd Coffey to a one-year contract, with a 2013 option.
Source: #Dodgers agree with [Todd] Coffey on one-year, $1.3 million deal with club option, pending physical.
Doctor: You pass.
Coffey: What?
Doctor: You pass your physical.
Coffey: But I just got here-
Doctor: Please keep your shirt on.
Though Coffey's a non-closing reliever, the 31-year-old righty has been in demand. He's been pursued by the Cubs, the A's, the Twins, and a handful of others, with the Dodgers ultimately winning out. With the Dodgers, Coffey will be a setup man, and probably an acceptable one. The last three years, he's posted a 3.68 ERA with more than three strikeouts for every unintentional walk.
Coffey works off of a mid-90s fasball and a slider. Boy does he love that slider. The last two years, Coffey's thrown 42 percent sliders, which is the sixth-highest rate in baseball. A little lower than Jesse Crain, but a little higher than Ervin Santana. Rather unsurprisingly, he's had trouble retiring left-handed hitters. But he's had far less trouble retiring right-handed hitters, and he'll face mostly right-handed hitters. Problem mitigated!
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