Hey, it’s Kentucky Derby Day, and it’s time for you to place a bet. Who are you gonna pick?
Kentucky Derby 2015 horse name power rankings
The true winner of the Kentucky Derby is the horse with the best name.
Are you gonna pick the horse actual horse betting analysts think is gonna win the Kentucky Derby? No. That would be dumb.
You should pick the horse with the best name. Because the horse with the best name always wins. (Note: The horse with the best name does not always win.)
Which horse has the best horse name is entirely subjective. Each person must look at the horse names and decide which horse name is the best horse name. We would never deign to provide a definitive list of horse names. However, this is our personal horse name ranking. Don’t be surprised when Itsaknockout wins.
(Oh, and if you must, here are the actual Kentucky Derby 2015 odds.)
1. Itsaknockout
(Wouldn’t normally be our winner, but bumped to the top for being Mayweather-Pacquiao topical.)
2. Ocho Ocho Ocho
That’s Spanish for “EIGHT EIGHT EIGHT,” which would also be a good horse name.
3. Danzig Moon
\m/
4. Frosted
This name is more than good. It’s grrrrrreat!
5. American Pharoah
Couldn’t decide whether to take away points or add points for the intentional misspelling. Added.
6. Keen Ice
This sounds like an awful beer. I love awful beers!
7. Bolo
Now it's time for THE LEGEND OF PHILIP RIVERS' BOLO TIE http://t.co/JfSG77yr3o pic.twitter.com/cnQLChTU8q
— SB Nation (@SBNation) January 12, 2014 8. Mubtaahij
9. Mr. Z
I like the idea of a horse/man. Presumably the brother of the disgusting New York subway doctor.
10. War Story
The horse was born before the movie came out.
11. Frammento
Sounds like a delicious iced coffee beverage.
12. Dortmund
13. Upstart
Go get ‘em,
14. Carpe Diem
Good life philosophy, mediocre horse name.
15. Firing Line
16. Far Right
17. Tencendur
These are just letters.
18. Materiality
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