This David Ortiz bobblehead is so horrible the Red Sox are never giving it away
James Dator has been covering a wide range of sports for SB Nation for over a decade, with a special focus on the NFL.
It takes a pretty special bobblehead to be withdrawn from a giveaway. Bobblehead isn’t exactly a medium where artists’ work is closely scrutinized or judged. In fact, given the number of horrors we’ve seen over the years, an “acceptable” bobblehead typically falls between “fourth grade art project” and “craft afternoon at the old folks home.”
This David Ortiz bobblehead is special. It’s so bad it got pulled. That is a tremendous feat for a bobblehead. It got retired before it ever saw the light of day.
Let’s talk about this monstrosity, because it’s hard to even posit what happened. There are only a few possible explanations for how this bobblehead turned out so bad.
- The Red Sox commissioned the creators of “Celebrity Death Match” to make their bobblehead.
- This is actually an entry in a competitive cake baking show someone with only a passing knowledge of baseball made.
- It’s lips were cut off as a warning to any other bobblehead who talked.
- It’s really a prop from Guillermo del Toro’s new movie “El Padre de Miedo” (The Scary Dad).
You know — this thing is awful but I also totally want one.
