5 group celebrations that NFL players must do this season

The NFL stopped being total party poopers and eased up its celebration policies this offseason — specifically when it comes to group celebrations.

Along with group celebrations, going to the ground and using the ball as a prop are now allowed. While twerking, hip thrusting, crotch grabbing, and other sexually suggestive acts aren’t allowed, the changes give room for a lot more creativity that wasn’t there before.

Yet, we didn’t see any good group celebrations in Week 1. The best one of the preseason involved Marvin Jones Jr. and his Lions teammates mimicking Double Dutch. But since then, we haven’t gotten those flashy group celebrations we’ve been hoping for.

In a perfect world, here are five that I would love to see by the end of the season.

If a team were to successfully execute this celebration, Roger Goodell would have to alter the rulebook the next week to deem a team that does it the winner.

The entire thing is great, but I’m particularly focused on Kid n Play’s part:

Whoever is not playing those two parts, can gather around in a circle while SkyCam (or whatever the particular broadcast is calling it) does its job. As far as the celebration, I’m just going to let it speak for itself. It’s a classic.

Odell Beckham Jr. did a rendition of this during the 2016 season, but it would be even more glorious with a choreographed effort by an entire NFL offense. It’s easy to see the skill guys executing this dance, but can you imagine some of those gigantic offensive linemen knocking this out of the park?

The offensive linemen are totally capable of getting it done. Sure, they don’t look like the most athletic guys out on the field, but being an NFL player — get this — takes tons of athleticism. Even for the big uglies in the trenches.

Somebody, please, do this.

I’m not talking about a squad photo that you might throw up on Instagram or a boat photo. I’m talking organized, boring, team photo. I’m talking big guys standing in the back, while others in the front are appearing to sit down in chairs.

But it’s not that simple. The players gotta really take the time to arrange themselves — whether it be by last name, position, or jersey number. Putting thought into the imaginary photo that appears like a boring celebration the NFL would actually like is genius, until it hates it for the time it took.

Players still can’t use props, but having a not-too-flashy celebration while also involving everybody on the offense would be a great celebration. The entire idea of getting the linemen involved is that they don’t get to score often. Now that they can be involved in the celebration, opportunities must be used to include everybody.

A handful of players used to play basketball anyway, so why not run a quick game of five-on-five, and let one player be the sixth man?

During broadcasts, announcers never miss an opportunity to mention that guys like Julius Thomas, Mike Evans, Jimmy Graham, Antonio Gates, Julius Peppers, and many others over the course of time played basketball. Let’s see those skills put to work.

It could also be a great time to recreate iconic basketball moments. If I had to choose, Michael Jordan’s game-winner in Game 6 of the 1998 NBA Finals would be the best route to go. It’s one of the most recognizable plays in NBA history:

Perhaps this is something that Tarik Cohen and Jordan Howard might be inspired by, since Cohen believes the duo to be like LeBron James and Isaiah Thomas.

When it comes to degree of difficulty, this celebration is up there, but if it can be executed properly, would be an all-timer.

I’m not going to put up a jousting match from say, Game of Thrones, but here’s something you can go off if you have no idea what I’m talking about:

Here’s my thinking on this one: For the barrier between the two competitors, you have a mixture of linemen and skill players. For the horses, you need the two most limber offensive linemen. For the horsemen, it can be whomever scored the touchdown, and let’s say if it’s a passing touchdown, the quarterback.

That sets up the scene, and by this point you’re probably wondering “OK, what about the weapons of joust; you can’t use props because the NFL is the Feds!” Well, when the players finally meet at the middle, they play rock, paper, scissors. The winner is crowned with the football, and the loser falls off his horse.

All participants are inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame.