Every office in America has someone just like Joe Flacco

Joe Flacco is catching hell on Monday morning for one moment from the Ravens’ game on Sunday when he was completely oblivious to Lamar Jackson being wide open in the end zone for what would have definitely been a touchdown.

It was the latest in a series of eerie coincidences where Flacco somehow manages to ensure other quarterbacks never have a chance to shine in games — even when they’re being used out of position. It’s gotten to the point where everyone is noticing. We wrote about it on Sunday, and it’s such a known thing that the Ravens official website felt the need to post about the missed throw, just so the idea could be squashed.

“If you remember, we were kind of rushing around there,” Flacco said. “It didn’t get off perfect, and he’s the last guy out of probably five [options] out there anyways.”

I don’t think Flacco is intentionally throwing his teammates under the bus, I really don’t — but it wouldn’t surprise me that guys like Jackson, who are being groomed to take over for him, are the furthest thing from his mind when there’s an important play to make.

I get what’s going on here, because I’ve seen it — and you have too. There existed a time in my life before blogging where I worked in planning for a Fortune 500 manufacturing company, and then as sales support in another manufacturing job. In both cases I can recall specific Joe Flaccos in the workplace who did whatever they could, consciously or not, to diminish the achievements of their coworkers out of fear.

Think about it for a second and you’ll realize there’s a Flacco where you work. They’re not fundamentally bad people, they’re just super insecure. When anyone in their department starts getting noticed, they first try to double-down on their work to out-shine them, and when that doesn’t work they’ll revert to some sort of sabotage.

The last-second project they “forgot to mention,” blaming you for their mistakes. Work Flaccos always have an excuse when they screw up, get overly defensive immediately and do what they can to stand out, even if means putting you down.

They’re also the first people who bring baked goods to the office for everyone. Now look, that might be a bit of a generalization — but there’s a good chance if you’re regularly bringing treats and nobody else is, then you might be a Work Flacco. For the Flacco bribes the rest of its tribe.

This part is easier said than done, because it’s a really tough habit to break. Knowing that the writing is on the wall sucks. Those two jobs I mentioned: Both went through massive corporate downsizing and the entire office was shut. We all knew it was coming, and in those final weeks the Work Flaccos escalated their Flacco-ing, like rats scrambling on a sinking ship.

I’m not here to debate Flacco’s place in Ravens’ or NFL history. It’s just an observation that it doesn’t need to be like this. Joe, if you’re reading, you can change, my dude. Accept that sooner or later the team is going to need to move on. I know that sucks — but this is the business. You’re at a critical point where you can be the dude who rides off into the sunset by leaving the Ravens in an amazing place by elevating guys like Lamar Jackson, and walk away from the team (whenever that might be) as a hero.

That’s how you truly become elite, my man.