Why Lechonk would be the most delicious Pokémon to eat

I’m sorry but we need to revisit one of the internet’s oldest arguments: Which Pokémon would be the best to eat? I know this topic has been litigated, and re-litigated over the years ad nauseum, but you’ve got to trust me when I say I wouldn’t be rehashing this topic unless new information had been presented to the world.

The release of Pokémon Scarlet/Violet was like the opening of a new restaurant for edible Pokémon enthusiasts — and I think this debate has now been settled utterly and completely in the very first steps of the newest game.

Ignore the weepy eye mucus, because I know I am — despite this I think it’s very obvious that Lechonk should be the top of anyone’s list for the best tasting Pokémon. Every entry in the series is inspired by a different region of the world, which informs a lot of the Pokémon design. For Scarlet/Violet the Paldea region is loosely based on Spain, which tells us a lot about the specific characteristics of Lechonk.

Being a new Pokémon we can say safely that Lechonk is wholly unique to the Paldea region. From its notable black skin it’s incredibly obvious that this Pokémon was based entirely on the Black Iberian Pig.

Living in herds in Southern Spain and Portugal, the Black Iberian Pig subsists on a diet primarily made up of acorns. This naturally gives the meat, particularly the fat, a very unique flavor which is coveted in its primary execution: Iberico ham. A food that is so prized that it has it’s own special ham stand and is carved with a sword, easily making Iberico ham the most metal charcuterie on the planet.

There’s more to my theory that Lechonk is a Black Iberian Pig than just the fact they’re the same color. Here is the official Pokedex entry from the game, which clearly draws the parallel between the fictitious hog Pokémon and the real-life animal.

Scarlet: “It searches for food all day. It possesses a keen sense of smell, but doesn’t use it for anything but foraging.”
Violet: “This Pokémon spurns all but the finest of foods. It body gives off an herblike scent that bug Pokémon detest.”

So essentially Lechonk exists to forage for the rich acorns existing in the Paldea region, turning it into the most extravagant and prized pork product in the modern world. I understand there is so guilt involved with the idea of eating Lechonk, because it is the first form of the Pokémon. It’s essentially like eating veal, which I absolutely love, but feel inherently guilty about taking part in. The issue is that Lechonk’s evolved form, Oinkologne, basically turns into perfume.

The Pokedex entry for Oinkologne references a strong “flower-like scent” which is emitted from the body of the animal, which to me is akin to gaminess in meat. This is far more like the equivalent of lamb vs. mutton situation. Is it better and more ethical to eat an Oikologne than a Lechonk? Yes, absolutely — but unfortunately some things in life just don’t get better with age. It turns out Pokémon are not like a fine wine, and are best eaten young.

I consider this argument settled. The best Pokémon to eat is Lechonk and it will remain that way until another game is a released, and with it a new menu of edible delights.