Some videos just hit you. They speak to your soul on a viscerally relatable level. Seeing this man turn himself into a human Christmas tree just so he can tote his bags home on a Lime scooter.
Multi-bag Scooter Dad is every man at the grocery store
“We don’t need a cart.”
James Dator has been covering a wide range of sports for SB Nation for over a decade, with a special focus on the NFL.
This isn’t just a food-needy man, he’s a well-prepared grocery store warrior. I don’t want to make assumptions about whether this man is a father, but he’s giving off some serious dad energy, and the repurposed baby carrier becoming a watermelon carrying device really lends itself to suggesting fatherhood. It takes some real forethought to rock up to the Walmart in a high-visibility vest with a fanny pack full of carabiners, having all your anchor points mapped out to this level.
You know what: I get it. There is absolutely nothing I hate more than over-reliance on grocery carrying mechanisms. I’m the dude in the store with a can of tomatoes wedged between a bag of rice and a six-pack of tonic water because I refuse to even get a basket, let alone a cart.
Don’t get me wrong, when it’s time to do a big shop I’ll use a cart — but when I say I’m running in “for a few things,” I mean it, and if I can’t fit them all in my arms then I’m breaking my own rules for the trip. I will not be fooled by Big Grocery into purchasing a jar of kosher dills I don’t need, simply because they are staring at me, full of their briney allure, when I’m explicitly in the pickle aisle to purchase some kalamata olives. I refuse to be tempted by the shockingly good BOGO deal on Honey Bunches of Oats when all I came into the store for was a bottle of wine and some provolone cheese.
Scooter Dad is a little different, but I like to imagine the same basic concept applies. This is a man who is shopping knowing he has a 12 bag limit and nothing more — because that’s all the bags he can fit on his utility vest. Every trip to the store is a value proposition between human desire and load management.
I absolutely respect it, and screw the people saying “he should just get a car.” Scooter Dad is perfect, and I will not tolerate slander.
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