A plausible path to all 7 ACC Coastal teams finishing 4-4

There are many reasons to love college football. Tradition, school ties, the joy of watching bad defenses keep nearly every game within reach ... But why we really follow the sport is chaos. Pure chaos. The purest form of said chaos? Everyone finishing with a .500 conference record in the ACC Coastal.

The Coastal is one of college football’s most balanced (read: mediocre) divisions, without any superb team standing above the rest or dreadful team bringing the division down. Instead, there’s a whole bunch of average going on, and the chances of a seven-way tie, however slight, are just too delightful to pass up.

So how could we achieve such a feat? Duke’s win over previously undefeated Georgia Tech helped, but we need more upsets.

And the biggest issue is finding four wins for North Carolina. The latest projections find the Tar Heels, among others, are not cooperating with our plan.

But there’s hope yet! Here’s one somewhat reasonable scenario that could see the Coastalpocalypse unfold:

Virginia Tech (2-1) defeats Pittsburgh (1-2)

Virginia (3-0) defeats Duke (1-2)

North Carolina (1-2) defeats Georgia Tech (2-2)

Miami (2-2) defeats Virginia Tech (2-2)

North Carolina (2-2) defeats Virginia (3-1)

Pittsburgh (2-2) defeats Georgia Tech (2-3)

Georgia Tech (3-3) defeats Virginia (3-2)

Boston College defeats Virginia Tech (2-3)

Miami (3-2) defeats North Carolina (2-3)

Pittsburgh (3-2) defeats Duke (1-3)

Florida State defeats Virginia (3-3)

Duke (2-3) defeats Syracuse

Georgia Tech (4-3) defeats NC State

Florida State defeats Miami (3-3)

Clemson defeats Georgia Tech (4-4)

North Carolina (3-3) defeats Pittsburgh (3-3)

Duke (3-3) defeats Virginia Tech (2-4)

North Carolina (4-3) defeats Duke (3-4)

Virginia Tech (3-4) defeats Wake Forest

Pittsburgh (4-3) defeats Syracuse

Virginia (4-3) defeats Miami (3-4)

Virginia Tech (4-4) defeats Virginia (4-4)

NC State defeats North Carolina (4-4)

Duke (4-4) defeats Wake Forest

Miami (4-4) defeats Pittsburgh (4-4)

There you have it -- everyone is 4-4 in conference play. Who would make the conference title game, likely to face Florida State? The first tiebreaker is record among the tied teams, aka the entire Coastal. In this scenario, Miami and North Carolina (!) have the best inter-division records among the bunch at 4-2, so they advance to the next tiebreaker. The Hurricanes defeated the Tar Heels in our scenario (and would have the better overall record), and would therefore win the Coastal crown.

This is all assuming, of course, that East Carolina doesn’t just up and pillage the whole dang division. Arrrrrrrrr.