This Week In Schadenfreude: Do Not Open PanGeorgia’s Box!

Florida State mounted a major comeback against Louisville to keep its loss column unblemished. You may have thought the Noles were in trouble in the first half, but surely Tomahawk Nation commenters knew Jimbo Fisher would make the needed adjustments and keep America’s Supreme Champion Despite The Haters™ going.

Guess it’s just not our year
And plus can someone please tell the ACC to stop putting us on Thursday night. I’m so tired of this, FSU has been the flag bearer for the the ACC forever and yet they continually do this to us. Why not Clemson or the U or UVa. rediculous

“Guess it’s just not our year” said the fan of the undefeated team, completely seriously and without a trace of sarcasm. I think we can all agree that’s the main theme of this year for Florida State. Please let us know where we can send the canned goods for you and your fellow unfortunates.

Being a Pitt fan is not an easy thing. When you’re not breaking new fumble ground, you’re missing short game-winning field goals. Spleen away, Cardiac Hill faithful.

pitt is a robot that cant turn his head

I had a feeling he’d miss because we’re pitt

Never again
Fuck u Pitt! U just lost a die heart fan!

I’ll confess, I can’t point to the problem with this team. But, well, I’m not as smart as this person.

The ACC Referees Whistle Dixie!
Its too bad that Pitt is now in a “Southern Conference” with a very haunting past. The ACC Referees are worse the the Big East ever was.

D-1 College Football is Geo-Political with a Hateul Twist favoring Dixie! All Top Four Teams are within 100 miles of each other - Are People that Supid?
Can You imagine if all top four teams were from Michigan and Ohio? People would be livid, but when it comes to the South, they get a pass?

The South and their Bigoted Press can Go to Hell

I’m trying to imagine a top four that only includes Michigan and Ohio schools. Michigan, Michigan State, Ohio ... Akron? Western Michigan? The Cincinnati Bengals? You’re right, this would piss people off.

Conspiracies aren’t just for the ACC, though, thanks to this Northwestern fan/courageous teller of truths at InsideNU.

Union Impact
NU has one win over a quality opponent since the team began Union discussions about the time of the Ohio State game last year. It’s simply a different team. And it won’t be a good TEAM until they can put this divisiveness behind them.

I mean, the AFL-CIO hasn’t been to a bowl game in years!

Please brace yourself for what is quite possibly the most Penn State comment Black Shoe Diaries has ever hosted:

Maryland visitors, as I said elsewhere,
At the end of the day, Saturday’s loss in the greatest Maryland game ever, sanctions, Sandusky, you name it,

we’re still better than all of you.

See you next year with our team filled with the recruits you couldn’t lock down because they want to play for a championship contender, not eastern Indiana.

/kisses

I’d give this Scott Tenorman of the Week, but I imagine this fan would just build a trophy case to it and point to it with pride. Instead?

(yells into radio) SEND ALL THE NAPALM YOU HAVE. NOW.

Indiana lost to Michigan and, in most years, that wouldn’t cause Hoosier fans to ponder time and fate. But this is not most years, is it, BtownBanners?

I recently read a Stephen King book about time travel with an often-used phrase: “The past is obdurate. It doesn’t want to change.”
For example, going back in time to prevent something from happening is met with one obstacle after another as the past attempts to protect itself.
It almost feels like someone is trying to change the past and allow IU to finally beat Michigan in football, but IU isn’t ever supposed to win, so things like losing Sudfeld happen to offset Michigan being terrible. Last year it was having an historically awful defense to offset our record-setting offense.

“Doc! We have to go back so Indiana can beat Michigan!”
“Marty, this film franchise has officially gone on too long.”

The Big 12 only contributes one entry this week, from a West Virginia supporter at The Smoking Musket in the wake of a close home loss against TCU.

F U TCU
Typically I wish any Big12 team we lose to good luck with the rest of their games. I hope you win out as that only helps us. But, f u tcu. I hope you choke on it big time. Your fans (and their asinine comments) remind of a misguidedly entitled school about 70 miles north. It also reminds me of that certain percentage of jackass texans I meet in la. You lucked out. Take the gift. But don’t come on here telling us you earned that win.

Admittedly, this is not so much spleen as it is amusing fake spleen. I AM SO MAD I WILL NOT ROOT FOR YOU TO WIN THE REST OF YOUR GAMES. Whoa, easy there big fella. Wouldn’t want to cross a line or anything.

Arizona and Utah both controlled their own conference destiny entering last week. They both lost and now need help to win the Pac-12 South. Arizona, however, does not need or want that help, according to this commenter at Wildcat Sports Report:

THE SEASON IS OVER - START PREPARING FOR ASU.

Colorado - does not matter
Washington - does not matter
Utah - does not matter

There is no need to scout them, there is no need to scheme against them. Nothing they do on the field matters. If we are 3-0 in these games or 0-3 in those games it makes NO DIFFERENCE whatsoever. I’d send entire squads of walk-ons to those games. Get our top players healthy and start tailoring everything in practice around ASU.

ASU... matters. They do nothing but get lucky, game after game. It’s bull shit and had we prepared last year, we could have won, but we wasted energy on Oregon and then got demolished, dismantled, embarrassed and destroyed by ASSwipeU. Either win this game, this year or fire the entire staff. In fact I would burn football to the ground if we cannot beat the scum devils this year and stop playing while we are ahead in the record column.

I often wish the crazy things commenters proposed came to be in the real world, and this proposal is no exception. Just imagine Rich Rodriguez losing three straight games (including one to Colorado) and only saying “it doesn’t matter” after each of them. “We didn’t scout them or scheme them. We intentionally benched our best players. Losing these games made no difference.”

“But why, Coach?”

“All that matters is ASSwipeU.”

So yeah. That’s your Scott Tenorman of the Week. Go tell the Penn State commenter about it and see if he or she can go 30 seconds without using the word “classless.”

Utah fans, on the other hand, just went to BlockU and embraced the madness.

Say, didn’t that Utes fan suggest Will Muschamp might have saved his job? Did something happen? Weren’t they playing Georgia? Huh. Well, let’s see if there’s any more detail on this at Dawg Sports.

I am trying NOT to throw a chair through my living room window. Character...please kick in!!!!

That doesn’t sound good at all, but maybe Georgia just struggled early. I’m sure things improved.

I could not HOLD OFF I THREW MY BARCA LOUNGER through the window. It is crushed on the grass just like Mason on that last sack

Goodness. Let’s just see what the first comment in the postgame thread is.

Bobo Must Go
Period

(blows dust off antique box labeled “Georgia Anguish”) I wonder what this is? Let’s just open it up and s-

Coaching
How motivated can a coach be who has banked 30 million, heard every day he is such a nice guy, and dingy darn we almost ran the table this year, darn it. Bulldogs are LOADED, let me say again LOADED, how many 1st to not rated, top five to 20th can a program have. Nice guys don’t win, Saban ain’t a nice guy, Les Miles ain’t a nice guy, Urban Meyer ain’t a nice guy, Steve Spirrier ain’t a nice guy, those guys have something in common. Dawgs head coach’s only accolade is he is such a nice guy.

oh god what did i do

Message to coach Richt
Coach it’s over you are not a winner and will never be a winner in the big game. At this point you are making a lot of loyal Georgia fans suffer and for that matter you have for quite a while. Don’t you think in your heart that as a GOD fearing man you should step down. Over the last dozen years you have made a lot of money in your position and have surely saved enough for your family to live comfortably in there remaining days. There can be no doubt that you have many fans both at the university and in the media an could probable stay as long as you want. But it’s time you though about the fan base we have no confidence in you and i don’t see how we ever will.

somebody find the lid

We are so far from “undefeated” being a goal or a dream it is not even funny.

We start every season basically 0-2.

1) We will have one incredibly embarrassing dumpster fire failure of a game where we lose a game we should have dominated.

2) We will also lose one close game that we should have won and definitely could have one but for one or two brutal heartbreak mistakes/disasters.

The other 10 games we are competitive. In fact, in 6-8 of them we tend to be somewhat dominant, which makes the other losses all the more frustrating.

(struggles to find lid)

Inexplicable? Dumpster fire? Shocking?
Nope. This is what we do. Think back to the National Championship 35(!) years ago. We do something like this every year. It’s heartbreaking but not unexpected.

I hate this crap but it’s the norm. Georgia gonn Georgia.

WHEW. That was a close one. I think they’re all conta-

I’m not surprised the apologies have already begun...
Roll out the apology posts.

This is why nothing ever changes.

We poop the bed on Saturday, rage on Sunday, and by Monday it is all hugs and kisses and everyone is forgiven.

Nope. Not this guy.

This was about the 20th example of embarrassing, program humiliating failure in the last 15 years. There is no excuse for crap like this. This should happen rarely. For us, it is a twice annual tradition.

Stop giving Georgia money.

Stop.
Giving.
Georgia.
Money.

Nothing will change until they see it on the balance sheet. The Georgia Athletic Department cares about money infinitely more than anything else. They are corrupt and worship at the altar of Mammon and need to be replaced from top to bottom.

You heard it, Dawg fans. The only way this program will ever win is if they’re penniless. It’s like Trading Places, only for sports. Good news, though. The Tears of Unfathomable Sadness are yours, and they don’t cost a dime. That’s just the kind of generous soul I am.

NEXT WEEK: Oklahoma possibly drops its third Big 12 game! Georgia Tech is ranked and will therefore do something dumb! Notre Dame wanders the desert and Todd Graham offers them salt water! Bill Snyder and Gary Patterson Fashion Show! All of the sad pizza references!