Hiring a Nick Saban assistant for every SEC East head coaching job, since we’re almost halfway there anyway

Let’s do this, school by school.

Status: There already.

Fallback Saban option: Florida considered 1999 Michigan State graduate assistant Josh McDaniels before hiring McElwain.

Status: Looking like it’s happening!

And, per a separate source, he could look to bring former Saban defensive coordinator Will Muschamp with him to Georgia. Two Sabans for the price of one!

Fallback Saban option: Saban’s LSU offensive coordinator, Jimbo Fisher, who’s not gonna leave Florida State any time soon.

Status: Might actually happen!

Fallback Saban option: Michigan State assistant-turned-head coach Mark Dantonio is a former Gamecocks player who probably already has a better job, but still. “Coach Spurrier has had an outstanding career there, it’s my alma mater, and we’re here to talk about Michigan,” he said when asked during Wolverines week about replacing Steve Spurrier.

So far, everything could actually happen, without even resorting to fallbacks. Here’s where things have to get creative.

Mizzou fans come from the Big 12. They like offense. The 2015 Tigers had one of the country’s worst offenses, due in large part to factors beyond Gary Pinkel’s control. Kiffin was born in Big 12 country, anyway, hailing from Lincoln, Nebraska.

Fallback Saban option: Georgia defensive coordinator and 2007-2012 Alabama assistant Jeremy Pruitt, a 41-year-old hotshot, which is about the same age as potential Mizzou hire Barry Odom and briefly reported favorite Matt Campbell, who wound up at Iowa State.

And now, for the three SEC East programs not currently in a position to retain Saban assistants as head coaches.

Status: Mark Stoops landed an extension after one 2-10 season due entirely to recruiting. Since then, he’s gone 10-14 as recruiting has remained good by most standards, but nowhere near good enough to win the SEC.

Since UK likes recruiting so much (as judged by both football and basketball), how about the 2015 recruiter of the year? Cristobal is seemingly perfect for the Miami job, but is reportedly not a candidate, so let’s have him prove himself for a few years before taking another shot at the U.

Fallback Saban option: Look, we’re running out of Sabans here.

Status: Shurmur coached a year at Stanford, another smart school! How’s that different from current head coach Derek Mason? Uhhhhhh, NFL experience.

[Also, as the comment section notes, his son Kyle is a Vandy quarterback.]

Fallback Saban option: You might be raiding the current staff, at this point.

Status: He’s perfect for Tennessee because he’s already been an interim coach, and if there’s one thing we’ve learned from UT’s post-Fulmer years, it’s that interim coaches are very handy to keep around.

No? You don’t like that pick, Vols?

Well, okay then: