UNC hit with 5 top-level NCAA allegations. Likely punishment: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Still going! Yes, the NCAA investigation into North Carolina’s five-year-old scandal is still rattling along, with the university releasing the NCAA’s official list of allegations on Thursday.

No, you’re not the only person to forget this fiasco was unresolved. No, you shouldn’t feel bad. You work hard and have a lot on your mind.

Here’s the gist of what allegedly happened:

Between 2002 and 2011, the UNC athletic department pushed athletes into classes in which they didn’t have to do anything to get good grades. Like, actually nothing, not just the easy classes you and I took to fill credit hours. The classes were part of the African American studies department, and supposedly department chair Julius Nyang’oro knew what was going on. These were classes that were technically open to the rest of the student body, but the rosters were overwhelmingly athletes.

You can read the entire 59-page Notice of Allegations here, if that’s your thing (if it’s not, no big deal; football coach Larry Fedora hasn’t either), and you can read the five highlights of UNC’s own report here. Duke fans seem pleased.

This might lack the flashy details of some NCAA investigations, but the punishment could be meaty. UNC is facing five Level I (highest level) infractions, including the dreaded “lack of institutional control.”

Since the violations allegedly happened before the NCAA introduced a new penalty structure in 2013, they’ll be going with the old one, which was basically blindfolded darts.

Further complicating things: it involves multiple sports. UNC football might not hurt much despite starting the whole mess, but UNC “women’s basketball is toast,” writes Tar Heel Blog, which expects bans and vacated wins there. Stewart Mandel says national championship banners are likely to remain hanging, however.

UNC has 90 days to respond, and then the NCAA will schedule the actual hearing. Which is good, since it gives everyone time to forget and then get that “Huh, the UNC NCAA case is still going?” feeling again.

Consistency. We know what we’re going to get with Wisconsin. That’s why, despite being on their third head coach in four years, the Badgers are still the safe bet to win the Big Ten West, according to Bill Connelly:

The Badgers must replace the best running back in the country, a guy who rushed for nearly 2,600 yards, caught 19 passes, scored 32 touchdowns and put together some of the most brilliant performances you’ll ever see.

They must also replace the country’s best right side of an offensive line.

What’s your reaction? If you’re honest, it’s probably “Yeah, they’ll be fine.”

Fun! The new president at Texas wants to go ahead with selling beer at football games.

Hang on. Most people are aware that the quarterback situation at LSU isn’t exactly champagne and caviar. But if you squint a little and cock your head a little this way -- no, the other way -- maybe things won’t be that bad.

Saying that neither Jennings nor Harris could beat the other one out is a relative statement, not an absolute statement. It just means they’re close in their level of play.

It is possible that they’ve both improved, and coming out of the spring game Les Miles remarked that the two of them had. I realize that you can only take coaches’ statements for so much, but Miles isn’t known to be an egregious sunshine pumper.

Croots ‘n’ ‘fers

Oh. Kevin Wilson let himself off the leash. Indiana will do that to a man.