For the past decade, Tennessee has been bombarded with rumors of former Tampa Bay Buccaneers head coach Jon Gruden taking the Vols job. These are otherwise known as #GRUMORS. Seriously, it’s been going on for a full decade.
Here’s everything Tennessee fans on Twitter are promising to do if Jon Gruden takes the job
Vols are promising tattoos, nights at Gruden’s beloved Hooters, streaking, child renamings, and more.
This time around, fans are going as wild as ever, in part because there seems to be an actual chance this time. Thursday, thousands of fans watched a fruitless live stream of an airport parking lot, and that’s just one example.
Vol fans have been so persistent on Twitter, that they’ve made numerous promises as to what they’ll do if Gruden takes the job, whether out of sheer joy or as offerings to the Almighty or what have you.
I took it upon myself to search out all of these claims just to show you how badly fans want him in Knoxville.
Some Tennessee fans made some harmless promises, like these individuals:
Others promised to be loyal to Hooters and Corona, two brands Gruden has done commercials for during his non-coaching days:
COUNTERPOINT:
Several fans pledged to get a tattoo of Spider 2 Y Banana (which became a meme after he discussed it with Andrew Luck on ESPN) on their buttocks. No, I mean we have a good amount, folks:
On a related Spider 2 Y Banana note, a Virginia Tech fan joins in:
Some promised tattoos elsewhere:
My favorite part of this was how many Vol fans promised to NAME THEIR FIRSTBORNS AFTER HIM! Look at all these future Jons, and Chuckys, and Grudens!!
Other promises involved eating in celebration. My favorite involved asking Wendy’s for ideas:
Grown men will cry:
These are claims that I most definitely want to see on video:
Even non-Tennessee fans are getting in on the fun, sort of:
Some members of the college football media joined in from the opposite perspective, and you can bet they will be held accountable if Tennessee lands its guy:
A Georgia Tech fan takes Mark Schlabach up a notch:
I’m genuinely concerned for the safety of a few individuals, y’all:
Some of these tweets during my search were just so out there that I had to include them, so you can fully grasp what we are dealing with:
Of course there was a reference to the 2016 presidential election in these, guys. Why wouldn’t there be?!
Some of these made me genuinely sad:
And, welp, it’s arson time:
One of the more overwhelming things I noticed, outside of what fans will do if he gets hired, is how quickly they’ll turn on him if he doesn’t.
So basically, it’s either Christmas morning or Gruden is dead to Vol fans forever (until the next coaching search). It’s just hilarious to me that it’s either one extreme or the other.
Hopefully, you enjoyed this ride through the depths of #GRUMORS on Twitter as much as I did.
Stay strong over these next few days, Tennessee fans.
Also, if you’re still wondering just why UT fans want this guy so badly, answers are over here:
The connection is there -- Gruden was a graduate assistant at Tennessee in the late 1980’s, and his wife Cindy, was a cheerleader at Tennessee. Gruden and his son also went to the South Carolina game last month. He’s been out of the coaching game since 2008, though.
Terry Lambert, the editor of SB Nation’s Tennessee blog, Rocky Top Talk (which maintains an extensive timeline of years and years of GRUMORS), gave me some interesting details from inside the Vols’ fan base.
“Alabama, Tennessee’s biggest rival, returned to powerhouse status with one single home run hire,” Lambert told me. “Tennessee has gotten it wrong three straight times. Fans are craving that ‘Saban moment’ hire. A lot of fans believe Jon Gruden is Tennessee’s Saban.
“The Gruden-UT connections are obvious. Fans know that Tennessee has the money and boosters to make it happen. They just want to see the school swing for the fences, for once.”
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