MLB 2014 ALDS Preview: Tigers vs. Orioles Q&A

Are the Twins playing?

Dear God, no. Son, the Twins are bad. These are good teams, two of the best. The orange and white team is the Baltimore Orioles and the orange, blue and gray team is the Detroit Tigers.

Well, Baltimore won the American League East. They won 96 games, which is a lot, and they did it in a pretty tough division against clubs such as the Yankees, Red Sox and Rays. Well, it's normally a tough division, and those are normally tough teams. The Orioles went 47-29 against their A.L. East friends.

You sure have, buddy! The Tigers won 90 games and their division too. They got to play a lot against the White Sox and Twins.

So bad, son. So very bad. Oddly enough, they were only 19-19 against those teams, but did better against stronger teams such as the Royals and Indians, winning 24 of 38 games against them. They also went 5-1 against the Orioles, though that might not mean much.

That's a complicated question, son. The Orioles had a really great year, but they've gotten unexpected performances out of players like Nelson Cruz (.271/.333/.525, 40 homers), Steve Pearce (.293/.373/.556, 21 homers), and Delmon Young (.302/.337/.442). Sometimes when something happens for no apparent reason, it just stops at the worst possible time.

Neither has anybody, son. Meanwhile, the players they were counting on, guys like starting catcher Matt Wieters and third baseman Manny Machado have been hurt for most of the year and will be out for the playoffs. They're also without their biggest hitter from last year, Chris Davis, who is suspended for using amphetamines and only hit .196/.300/.404 this year.

Tell you when you're older. Adam Jones was really good too (.281/.311/.469, 29 homers), and Nick Markakis was okay (.276/.342/.386). And their pitching is really, really solid all around, but without a dominant star. I mean Chris Tillman (13-6, 3.34), Wei-Yin Chen (16-6, 3.54), Miguel Gonzalez (10-9, 3.23), Bud Norris (15-8, 3.65) and Kevin Gausman (7-7, 3.57) are all excellent pitchers, but none of them are Cy Young Award candidates.

Oh, so many stars, son. They have Miguel Cabrera (.313/.371/.524, 25 homers), he's been the league's most valuable player for the last two years. And they have Victor Martinez (.335/.409/.565, 32 homers), who has been even better than Cabrera this year. And their pitching is so deep that Anibal Sanchez, who had the best ERA in the American League last year, is going to be in the bullpen. That's partially because a strained chest muscle put Sanchez out for most of the last third of the season, but it's also telling that the Tigers can afford to do that.

It's the rate at which they get outs on the balls hit into the field. The Tigers are bad at it. All of the other fielding stats that daddy likes, Defensive Runs Saved, Ultimate Zone Rating, and Total Zone all say that the Tigers are awful. Plus, they could be playing Don Kelly or Ezequiel Carrera in center field with Rajai Davis hurt. The Tigers are going to wait until the last minute to figure that out.

It could be bad. And yes, according to every single stat available, the Orioles are much, much, much, much, much better on defense. First baseman Pearce, second baseman Jonathan Schoop, shortstop J.J. Hardy and catcher Caleb Joseph are all excellent in the field, and center fielder Jones and Markakis are pretty good too.

That's the thing about the playoffs, son. They're kind of a crapshoot. I could flip a coin and it would probably have about the same chance of being accurate as a serious analysis, because luck is really important in the postseason. Guys have to get hits at the right time, weird stuff takes on much greater importance, and managers use their players differently. Orioles manager Buck Showalter is a tactical wizard. We don't know nearly as much about Tigers manager Brad Ausmus, because this is his first year in the league.