Orange Bowl, Clemson Vs. West Virginia: ‘Eers Gun Down Record Book, 70-33

↵The rare self-feelingsball, executed by the West Virginia MetroNews’ Hoppy Kercheval:

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The top contender for Best GIF of 2012 honors couldn’t possibly get any better, unless it somehow led to postgame MASCOT HUG.

via Tom Fornelli

Rich Rodriguez invented much of modern college football while watching a practice accident at minuscule Glenville State College, where his goal for the season was to earn a single first down. Mike Leach and Hal Mumme scratched out the Air Raid offense on coffee shop napkins while trying to find enough “warm bodies” for Iowa Wesleyan to take the field. Auburn’s national championship offense? Formulated on high school fields by Gus Malzahn.

And Wednesday night, we learned from West Virginia Mountaineers coach Dana Holgorsen that the next big thing came from another school nobody had ever heard of: an engineer factory named Colorado School of Mines.

West Virginia Mountaineers blog The Smoking Musket has gone so far as to name Oliver Luck their Orange Bowl MVP.

Holgorsen was widely regarded as a fantastic offensive coach before his arrival in Morgantown, but very few people could have predicted that he would lead West Virginia to a BCS bowl victory after this summer’s controversy. With his team’s performance against Clemson, Luck has been vindicated in his decision to force Stewart to resign in June.

Unsurprisingly, Clemson fans are unhappy. Clemson Tigers blog Shakin’ The Southland spent a lot of time breaking down the West Virginia offense ahead of the Orange Bowl, so they’re more angry than most. They’re calling for defensive coordinator Kevin Steele’s head, and they’re using some strong language to do so.

While this was the worst performance that the Clemson defense has put in this season, it’s not their first poor performance by any stretch of the imagination. Generally, when fans call for the heads of coordinators after bad losses, it’s extremely reactionary and they end up calming down a few days later. In this case, Shakin’ The Southland probably won’t be issuing a retraction.

We don’t know exactly which play each of these cards represents, but we can check the results for analysis.

U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission chairman Inez Moore Tenenbaum: Tavon Austin touchdown

8: Touchdowns scored by West Virginia in a nine-drive span. The Mountaineers punted on their first possession, and in clock-killing mode only scored once in their final five possessions. In between, they put on a clinic. They scored 56 points in nine possessions and gained 454 yards in 49 plays (9.3 per play). Smith’s passing line before they took their foot off of the accelerator was amazing: 25-for-33, 362 yards (11.0 per pass), five touchdowns. It was so close to perfect that I began to very much look forward to Chris Brown’s next Grantland piece, presumably about what Dana Holgorsen’s Air Raid looks like in fifth gear. (While we wait, Brown put together a nice Holgorsen primer of sorts. Not sure if he has anything left to say about it at this point, actually.)

2: Times in the first 77 Orange Bowls in which two teams combined to score 70 points. Florida crushed Maryland’s hopes and dreams (56-23) in 2002, and USC wiped the floor with Oklahoma (55-19) in 2005, and that’s it. Those were also two of only three times in which a team scored more than 50 points (the other: Alabama 61, Syracuse 6 in 1953). West Virginia played in a game mostly known for solid defensive battles (Oklahoma 13, Florida State 2 in 2001; Florida State 18, Nebraska 16 in 1994; Colorado 10, Notre Dame 9 in 1991; Notre Dame 13, Alabama 11 in 1974) and turned it into a video game.

Clemson just allowed a record 70 points in a BCS bowl game. At no point in the evening did it appear they were capable of stopping even the most modest of West Virginia’s offensive designs. This was an utter and complete debacle, the kind of defeat that years later causes spontaneous weeping and fainting spells among those unfortunate enough to have watched it from the wrong side’s stands.

Still, you have to hope, Clemson. Maybe you feel like hope in these circumstances is an impossibility, but we tell you, devastated Clemson fans: it is not only possible, but necessary and alive. Hope claps with both hands forward like Les Miles. Hope wears an orange ballcap, and frankly...well, not even hope can keep up the charade for the entirety of a single round of applause for a garbage time TD in the worst blowout in your program’s bowl history.

SI.com: Orange Bowl box score and Orange Bowl FAQ.

Dana Holgorsen, who became the head coach of the ‘Eers after a rocky setup with previous coach Bill Stewart fell apart, has helped give West Virginia its third victory in a BCS bowl game.

Way back in the first quarter, someone saw this debacle of a game coming. We ignored her and her warnings. We were all so very wrong. Apologies, Cassandra of the Clemson Band. Next time we will heed your warnings.

SI.com: Live Orange Bowl box score and Orange Bowl FAQ.

That’s four touchdowns for WVU in the last five minutes of game time. Smith has surpassed 300 yards with 27 minutes remaining. West Virginia’s even rushed for 114 yards, right around its average for an entire game this season.

SI.com: Live Orange Bowl box score and Orange Bowl FAQ.

This game has set the all-time Orange Bowl record for first quarter scoring and for first half scoring. The Orange Bowl has been around since 1935. Only four Orange Bowl teams have ever scored more than 42 points through 60 minutes, let alone 30.

OK, that’s a grown man tackling a giant orange, followed by the orange throwing up in a trash can. Let’s back up.

SI.com: Live Orange Bowl box score and Orange Bowl FAQ.

SI.com: Live Orange Bowl box score and Orange Bowl FAQ.

For more on the 2012 Orange Bowl, visit Clemson blog Shakin’ the Southland and West Virginia blog The Smoking Musket.

The most recent:

SI.com: Live Orange Bowl box score and Orange Bowl FAQ.

SI.com: Live Orange Bowl box score and Orange Bowl FAQ.

Watkins entered the game with 1,382 yards in what was not only his first year, but the first year for offensive coordinator Chad Morris.

GIF of the on-field gymnastics lesson after the jump.

If you tried to do that, you would probably just explode, cry, vomit, or all three at once.

SI.com: Live Orange Bowl box score and Orange Bowl FAQ.

Credit goes to the line judge for not blowing the whistle while observing whatever that was. Kind of afraid I’d throw up if anybody tackled me like that, but there he goes, just running like it’s no big deal. This is why I’m only writing about this game.

SI.com: Live Orange Bowl box score and Orange Bowl FAQ.

That was Ellington’s fourth carry of the game. The previous three tallied just one yard. He’s now up to 1,131 rushing yards on the year, tacking on his 11th touchdown.

SI.com: Live Orange Bowl box score and Orange Bowl FAQ.

One pass has been completed thus far, a seven-yarder from Geno Smith to Tavon Austin. Austin also picked up a first down on the ground for WVU, and that’s about the entire story thus far. The crowd appears to be largely orange based on what I’m seeing, but it’s indeed not much of a crowd.

The Rootability Index helps you, the uninvested neutral viewer, who to root for in bowl games. Tonight’s fox of the hunt: The Orange Bowl, featuring Jon Gruden versus Mike Tirico in a Running Man-style fight to the death live on national television. Text 382 to our hotline if you want to see this instead of the game! Charges will apply, and they will bankrupt you.

ROOTABILITY FACTORS. Authorities regretfully inform you there are no easy villains in this game. Words of praise first for Dana Holgorsen, the coach who guided the Mountaineers to the Orange Bowl despite a series of factors we all seem to have forgotten about.

NOTE: Confused? See the quick glossary at the bottom.

Say this for the BCS bowls: while the 10 most deserving teams may not have been selected to fill the 10 slots, the selection process ended up with the five most even matchups possible. According to F/+ rankings, of the 10 teams selected, LSU and Alabama were Nos. 1-2, Oklahoma State and Stanford were Nos. 3-4, Oregon and Wisconsin were Nos. 5-6, Michigan and Virginia Tech were Nos. 7-8, and West Virginia and Clemson were Nos. 9-10.

Talk about a Faustian bargain. No BCS bowl has been as negatively impacted since its formation in 1998 than the Orange Bowl. Once the glowing powerhouse on New Year’s night, when no championship could be decided until things were settled in Miami, now the Orange Bowl game itself is almost always irrelevant.

Related: The Shotgun/Throwdown 2012 Orange Bowl Edition.

A midweek kickoff and a lack of national interest in the match-up, which is a usual complaint about the Orange Bowl, have a lot to do with the lackluster ticket sales. However, the Greater Miami Convention and Visitors Bureau estimates occupancy will be slighly higher on game day this year than it was in 2011 —75 percent versus 73 percent.

For more on the Mountaineers, head over to the SB Nation blog The Smoking Musket.Check out Shakin’ The Southland for everything Tigers. Head over to the official site of the Orange Bowl for more on this year’s game.

“We anticipate an exciting, high-scoring game,” Orange Bowl CEO Eric Poms said.

Game date, time: 8:30 p.m. ET, Wednesday, January 4th