What is Alex Smith doing right now? Jan. 26

Bowling! Everyone likes bowling! What better way to get your mind off your troubles than a little game or several of the old 10-pin? Alex Smith headed out to a Bay Area bowling alley on Saturday to see if he could lift his spirits with a little solo bowling action. Here’s how it went.

Smith arrived promptly at 11:00 a.m. as the alley was opening, in hopes of “beating the rush.” Luckily, there were only a couple of league bowlers working on their game and a trio of retirees enjoying some pre-noon highballs in the lounge. Smith requested a “quiet corner lane,” to which the attendant responded by staring at him bemusedly and assigning him a center lane.

Game 1: Smith throws three straight gutter balls to start, after which he too-loudly says “HEH HEH JUST WARMIN’ IT UP” to no one in particular. He eventually knocks some pins down, but finishes his first game with a 43.

Game 2: Smith starts off strong with a spare in the second frame, but his elation is short-lived as it doesn’t get that good again. On four separate occasions, Smith’s thumb comes out of the bowling ball on the backswing, resulting in the ball dropping loudly onto the floor behind him. The noise is horrible in the silent alley and draws increasingly more hateful glares from the others present. Smith finishes with a 32.

Game 3: After being unable to knock down a single pin through four frames, Smith sullenly walks to the counter and mumbles a request. The attendant requests that Smith speak up. A few minutes later, the attendant complies and puts the bumper rails up. Smith finishes with a 70!

Game 4: Smith manages to work the rails all the way to a 140, but the disdainful glances prove too much to bear and he returns his shoes and departs. Even his small victory for the day was a cause of embarrassment. So it goes.