Spanish La Liga Saturday: Villarreal Wins 3-1, Barcelona Demolishes Espanyol 5-1

Disclaimer: I started writing this in the 88th minute. I was certain that the match would end 1-1. I am leaving what I started writing for comedy’s sake.

Let’s give Valencia a huge round of applause for playing five seconds of brilliant football today and getting a point out of it! Okay, so I’m going off the deep end here, but Valencia were not good tonight outside of Tino Costa’s stunning free kick. They seriously missed Ever Banega, Juan Mata was mediocre and was withdrawn early on, and both Aritz Aduriz and Roberto Soldado did a poor job of finishing. Real Sociedad were the much more lively side in the second half, but lacked the quality to put Valencia to the sword and take all three points.

A first half filled with constant frustrations for Los Che has ended in a 1-1 tie thanks to an incredible goal by Alberto “Tino” Costa at the stroke of halftime for Valencia. The visitors had been having a rough first half in San Sebastien, going down a goal early, but Costa’s strike has set up a completely different dynamic for the second 45 minutes than the opening 45.

Real Sociedad found their opener in the 23rd minute thanks to a well taken penalty kick by Xabi Prieto. David Navarro was the man who gave the penalty away, putting a nice elbow into the grill of La Real’s David Zurutuza, for which he was shown a yellow card. The announcers thought it was a bit soft, but I thought that Navarro put his elbow up by a dude’s face in the penalty area and got what he deserved.

Based on Espanyol’s play so far this season and the fact that derby matches are often tight affairs, many expected a decent match at Estadi Cornella-El Prat. Barcelona were certainly favorites and were expected to win, but Espanyol seemed like they had a good chance of avoiding a drubbing. If they ever had that chance, they did not take it.

Espanyol had some decent counter attack chances and even converted one of them with Osvaldo scoring in the 63rd minute, but it was basically all Barca, all the time in the derby. Pedro scored 19 minutes in to give Barcelona the lead that they wouldn’t relinquish. Though Xavi only scored one of the five goals and Messi didn’t score at all, Barcelona’s two biggest stars shone the brightest. Xavi didn’t seem to misplace a pass all evening and Messi was the match’s biggest creative presence, setting up his teammates for opportunities over and over. Tomorrow, when the box scores are finalized, he will likely be credited with three assists. If so, it would take his league tally to a ridiculous 11.

Who told you there was going to be another update? Who? Oh, that’s right. This guy did. Barcelona have just scored their fifth goal in the 85th minute, turning this local derby into a truly embarrassing affair. David Villa was the man who scored, putting in his second of the game. Xavi was the man to supply, and I’ve lost count of who has what assists at this point in the game. In any event, Xavi and Messi have been absolutely brilliant.

Barcelona have made subs after this goal, just like the previous one, with Andres Iniesta being removed for Seydou Keita while The Artist Formerly Known As Pedrito was removed for Bojan. Also, like the last goal, there have been more Barcelona chances in the two minutes it has taken me to write this post. Just stop. My fingers hurt. For the love of God, Pep. You’re killin’ me, smalls!

Lionel Messi through ball to David Villa, 76th minute. Stunning ball, stunning finish. If I copied and pasted the updates from previous weeks and changed the opponent and minute, would anyone notice?

Espanyol spent most of the first half of this match and the very beginning of the second half playing Barcelona hard, but like many other teams before them, they seem to have become very tired late in the game thanks to chasing unsuccessfully after the ball for 75 minutes. As a result, David Villa was able to cut through Espanyol’s defense like butter and slot a fourth goal past Kameni.

Things have gotten spicy in the Barcelona derby with two goals in less than three minutes, the first of which came from Barca. This time, Messi and Pedro combined for the goal yet again. The two quick forwards played a one-two together, tapping the ball through defenders before Messi found himself with a clear opportunity. He took a shot and it was well saved by Kameni, but Pedro was unmarked and the ball rolled to him. He blasted it past Kameni into the back of the net and Barcelona had a 3-0 lead.

The lead was taken right back down to two in an instant, though, as Espanyol finally made the most of one of their opportunities. In the 63rd minute, Jose Marie Callejon played a fantastic through ball to Pablo Daniel Osvaldo. Espanyol’s striker took his chance well and finished well past Valdes.

Barcelona have scored again in much different fashion, this time off of a bit of a scramble in the box. It didn’t have quite the same amount of style points as the first goal, but they all count the same, right? Xavi was the man who scored in the 30th minute, slamming home Daniel Alves’ assist. This came after a good sequence with a couple of decent saves by Kameni and a couple of missed shots.

Espanyol have had some opportunities to make things happen on the counter attack, but they have been very limited by Barcelona’s suffocating possession. In their frustration, Espanyol have started fouling, a lot. Four Espanyol players now have yellow cards. They just have no answer for Barcelona, like many teams before them.

After just 19 minutes, Barcelona have a 1-0 lead through a typical Barca goal. Busquets, Messi, and the artist formerly known as Pedrito combined to make the goal. To quote the one and only Ray Hudson, Barcelona are playing “football that is from a different planet. The Martians tune into Barcelona, make no mistake, and they are in awe.”

A handball from Puyol deep in his own half might have started the move, but there is no denying the quality that followed. Busquets played himself out of trouble with incredible skill and passed forward to Messi, who quickly played a through ball to Pedro. He sliced between the central defenders, beating them to the ball, and slotted his finish past Carlos Idriss Kameni to put the Blaugranes ahead.

How much does form matter in a derby? How about talent? We’re about to find out. Barcelona are perhaps the most in form team in the world, and almost certainly one of the most talented. Espanyol are in solid form themselves, but they’re hardly in the same league as their cross-town rivals when it comes to raw ability. Still, they’re fielding a strong team that is unlikely to get bulldozed. Here are your lineups.

Barcelona lineup (4-3-3): Valdes / Abidal, Pique, Puyol, Alves / Busquets, Xavi, Iniesta / Pedro, Messi, Villa

Mallorca were simply outclassed by a Villarreal team in top form tonight. In such top form, in fact, that they felt comfortable bringing off Giuseppi “The Situation” Rossi for United States international Jozy Altidore, who made only his eighth career appearance in La Liga. The real story was the play of Rossi, Nilmar, and Santi Cazorla, though. Villarreal’s three big attacking stars showed up to play today, all having a part in the scoring.

Cazorla opened it up early in the 11th minute off of a great assist that Rossi offered up on a silver platter with his head. Mallorca equalized in the 28th minute off of an absolutely stunning volley by Jonathan de Guzman, but their lead was not to last. Rossi converted a penalty kick in the 36th minute that was given due to a Pierre Webo handball, and Nilmar sealed the deal with a chipped goal on a fantastic counter-attack in the 51st minute. It was a well deserved win for Villarreal who were the better team for 90 minutes. With this win, they have further solidified their third place standing and appear to be in line for a UEFA Champions League berth next season.

If you follow me on twitter, you may have seen me make a bet that I could walk the eight blocks to my neighborhood take-out “Fresh Mex” restaurant, purchase a burrito, and come back before the second half kicked off. I failed in my endeavor, but I did bust in the door right as Nilmar scored his first goal to put Villarreal up 3-1!

The goal came on an impressive counter-attack in the 51st minute. Borja Valero played Nilmar through on goal with a great through ball and Nilmar made the most of his opportunity with a great chip finish over Dudu Aouate. It’s unfortunate for the Mallorca keeper that he’s allowed three goals, as none of them were on him and he’s made a couple of great saves. Villarreal have shown their versatility in this game, scoring from a slow build-up and scramble, a dead ball, and a quick counter. It’s been an impressive performance and Michael Laudrup’s boys have had little chance.

I called it, didn’t I? I figured the little Dutch Canadian would have a serious impact on the match. In the 28th minute, Jonathan de Guzman has equalized for Mallorca with an absolutely stunning goal from just outside the edge of the penalty area, worthy of Sportscenter. It came out of almost nowhere with Villarreal having been the better team for the entire match and Mallorca struggling to create chances.

During a Mallorca attack, central striker Pierre Webo drifted out wide to collect the ball and crossed towards the center of the box. The ball fell perfectly for de Guzman who smacked a right footed volley past Diego Lopez. It was an absolute stunner that even the announcers couldn’t believe. I think the color guy just let out a giant yelp, I certainly didn’t hear any words.

It took only 11 minutes for the hosts to take the lead, and a great 11 minutes it was. Villarreal have looked fantastic to start the match and their hard work has paid off in the form of a goal. I speculated about how Villarreal might play to start the match and they have opted for a slower, more methodical game than one might have thought. Their possession play has paid dividends.

Despite their quality, it looked like Villarreal had been denied an early goal when Mallorca goalkeeper Dudu Aouate saved a good left footed effort from Cani, who had received a quality pass from Giuseppi Rossi. Villarreal collected the ball, though, and it would be Rossi to set up the chance yet again. He headed a cross to an open Santi Carzola who placed a fantastic finish high into the net, past Aouate at his far post. It had to be a nearly perfect shot to beat the well-positioned keeper, and that is exactly what Carzola produced to put his team up 1-0.

The Yellow Submarine are ready to solidify their current UEFA Champions League standing at home against Mallorca, but Michael Laudrup has fielded a strong side with dangerous players that can challenge Villarreal. The formations look similar on paper, especially with Jonathan de Guzman listed as a forward by most sites for some strange reason, but practice is likely to be a different story with Mallorca attempting to win the midfield battle and playing the more defensive style between the two sides. Here are your lineups.

Villarreal Lineup (4-4-2): Lopez / Capdevila, Lopez, Musacchio, Lopez, Gonzalo / Cani, Bruno, Valero, Carzola / Rossi, Nilmar

Almost all of the games are off in England, but the snow has steered clear of sunny Spain, so feel free to get your footy fix from another part of the globe this weekend! Villarreal and Mallorca face off in one of the earliest game on Saturday, leading into a Barcelona derby and a match-up between two top half sides in Valencia and Real Sociedad. Sunday’s action is highlighted by Malaga vs. Atletico Madrid and Real Madrid vs. Sevilla.

Villarreal currently sit comfortably in third place and have established themselves as the true third banana behind Real Madrid and Barcelona. We all knew what two teams would control the top two spots for the majority of La Liga’s season, but the Yellow Submarine have stepped up in a wide open race for the other UEFA Champions League spots. Nilmar and the little man from Dirrrrrrrrty Jerzy, Giuseppe Rossi have formed a killer strike partnership, and Santi Carzola has been brilliant in support. They will be favorites against a Mallorca side that Michael Laudrup has done well to get into the top half with their serious financial issues.