Premier League, Week 27: Gareth Bale fires Tottenham to third place

The visitors were made to pay for the wasted chances shortly thereafter when some frighteningly poor defending saw the improbable figure of Joe Cole break the offside trap, bring the ball down with a spectacular piece of whirling witchcraft, and roll the ball expertly into the bottom corner with Lloris guessing the wrong way. 2-1 to West Ham.

Then it was back to the Jaaskelainen show. Again, the goalkeeper saved spectacularly from Caulker on a corner as the Hammers continued their unorthodox technique of refusing to mark anyone on set pieces, and then managed to tip Bale’s left-footed drive onto the crossbar. Lloris then came up with a fantastic stop on Taylor after the midfielder had been played clean through on goal.

It’s time for some Monday Night Fútbol as this week’s Premier League schedule wraps up with a London derby between Spurs and West Ham at Upton Park.

After half-time, Manchester City resumed their dominance, and a neat spell of passing resulted in Sergio Aguero having an opportunty with an overhead kick, but he could not connect cleanly and missed the chance.

Sergio Aguero was given yet another opportunity to put the hosts ahead afterwards after getting clear of the dozing Chelsea backline, but his attempted chip after Cech came racing out of his goal did not dip under the bar, and it appeared City were not going to find a breakthrough. Then, however, Yaya Toure stepped up. It was his power and drive from midfield that the Citizens had missed most while he was at the Africa Cup of Nations, but he showed neat footwork and finesse here, dancing his way into the box before clipping a delicate curled finish into the far corner.

Something’s got to give in the second half, but at this point it’s difficult to see what.

So, what’s the point of this game anyway? Really, it’s just self-preservation. Both teams are trying to see off a collapse. Hopefully that doesn’t result in a bore draw.

Manchester City injuries and suspensions

Everton got off to a solid start but as is their habit, they failed to take advantage of their opportunities. Nikica Jelavic was especially active as Everton looked good in possession.

Fellaini was involved in an odd play in the 33rd minute when he tangled with Bradley Johnson in the Norwich half. Fellaini was clipped in the knee by Johnson’s studs but still won the ball, at least until Mason called him for a foul despite the fact the Belgian’s knee was covered in blood. Nothing came of the free kick but Fellaini was able to continue, though he was less than pleased with the referee.

With both sides needing full points the game opened up quickly and provided some fairly entertaining end-to-end action.

Wigan got the game’s first good chance in the 4th minute when Franco Di Santo got in behind the Reading defense and put a shot in on goal from close range. Reading goalkeeper Adam Frederici was up to the task, making an excellent save to deny the Argentine.

The good news was swiftly followed by bad for United, however, and Van Persie was soon withdrawn through injurywith what appeared to be a minor knock to his back. It appeared to only be a precaution, however, and United looked to seal their victory without their star man.

The visitors responded well, however, and Sessgnon had a fine effort kept out by Foster before finally finding the back of the net from 15 yards as the West Brom defence failed to clear their lines. That should have set up a grandstand finish, but it was the Baggies who looked closer to scoring again, and Mignolet was called into action with a fantastic save from Brunt following another Bramble error.

Aston Villa looked mildly threatening after that, but didn’t have the requisite quality to finish off any of the half-dozen counter attacks that Arsenal played them into with horrible passes, and headed into the break down a goal. The second half was more of the same until the 68th minute, when a cleared corner led to a goal for the Villains.

With injuries and fouls aplenty however, the half was to end on a moment of real quality. A cross from Riether could only be headed up into the air by the Stoke defence, and Berbatov was lurking to crash a magnificent volley into the top corner from 12 yards out. With Stoke given no time to respond, the Cottagers went into the break on top.

Fulham appeared determined to throw away their narrow lead, however, and a few minutes later Stoke were given their best opportunity. Debutant Brek Shea sent a fine cross into the area which Ashkan Dejagah handled in the area, and a penalty was duly awarded to the visitors. Jon Walters prepared to take it, but the Irishman’s massive run-up allowed Schwarzer to anticipate his shot, making a fine save to keep his side ahead once again.

Dealing with opposites can be fun, I mean who doesn’t love playing with two magnets and trying to force them together?Seriously, you can sit around for hours just being mystified by the fact that two inanimate objects can be forcibly repelled by scientific fact that basically looks like magic. There’s a point to this and I’ll get there now.

I’m gonna stop because this is probably not making sense.

In addition to that fact, you can enjoy the exploits of the always enjoyable Dimitar Berbatov. That right there is a quality selling point.

Fulham injuries and suspensions

His opposite number, Rafael Benitez, looks increasingly unlikely to be offered the job on a full-time basis. With shades of his reign at Internazionale, he has fuelled the intrinsic distrust of the fans with a series of preposterously aloof comments as his team struggles on the pitch. Every apparent breakthrough is quickly followed by a disjointed and impotent display, with last night’s terrible display against Sparta Prague only the latest in a series of shambolic performances.

Of course, nobody would suggest that Chelsea or City should simply persevere with Mancini or Benitez for twenty years in the hope that one day they will achieve that level of automatic respect. But they cannot allow the situation to get out of control, where every manager is heralded as the chosen one, only for players to be considering whether it’s worth bothering to heed his instruction since he’ll be out the door in a week as soon as a patch of bad form comes along.

Craven Cottage; Saturday, 12:45 GMT/7:45 AM ET

Not the most enthralling way to begin the week’s action, is it? Fulham is theoretically close enough to the relegation zone that there will likely be a half-hearted attempt made to paint this as a vital game in terms of avoiding being dragged into the much, but that’s pretty clearly not true. These are two solidly mid-table sides playing a game that few people would be at all interested in were it not the only Premier League game happening at the time. There’s a chance it might not be boring, but it’s not really a good one.